Ok, so i made it back before a year was up- not too shabby. ok, so it IS shabby.
There is a lot going on right now it seems. I'm working still on getting Totally Committed under way. We have hired the great Shan Wallace to redo our logo, business cards, letterhead, etc. If you need some of that done I would highly recommend him. http://www.gamads.com/
Anyway, but life has gotten interesting. I can't say too much yet, but i have a feeling things will be very different for me in the next year. I'm just trusting the Lord and seeing what He does.
I have found though that there is a balance between allowing the Lord to work and moving out in faith to make things happen. A lot of my thoughts have been that I want the Lord to make things happen because really I don't want to get ahead of Him and I don't want to move out of my flesh. I want to know that it's Him so I wait for Him to do it. But there really has to be a balance. I think waiting on Him is right, but I think too that we at times have to put ourselves out there as well and allow Him to work through us or put us in a position where He wants us. I think we need to seek His next step for us and move when He says move and not be afraid.
Does any of that make any sense?
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Thursday, July 17, 2008
More Than Life?
I'm truly at a loss for words at the moment. I came to work to an email from a long time friend that said his wife was leaving him for another man. They've been married for 21 years. Wow. They are both Christians. Wow. I'm sitting here now heartbroken for this family. Heartbroken for this man and his kids. Heartbroken for this woman who is being so obviously deceived. And yet here I am listening to a worship song called More than Life. "I love You more than life (Jesus), oh I love You more than life." How true is that really? How much do we love him more than our own life? really? Many of us may sit in judgment of this woman who cheated on her husband and children; "at least I'm not as bad as her! I can't believe she would do such a thing!" And yet how often have we loved our own life more than Jesus, more than the freedom and the new life He's given? That new life means dying to the old one and none of can say that we've done that 100% perfectly.
How easy it is to fall into the snare of the enemy. You're unhappy at home. Maybe work is consuming your husband. Your heart isn't seeking the fulfillment of Jesus like it should or isn't feeling fulfilled like you think it should. You're lonely. you're sad. you're hurting and there seems to be no one who understands or truly cares. You've given up yourself to gain all this... not too pleasant. Then in walks prince charming. In walks a gluttonous amount of food. In walks a shopping spree that maxes out your credit card. In walks pornography. In walks alcohol and or drugs. In walks cutting yourself. In walks gossip. In walks stealing. In walks anything that will soothe the soul for a time just to give you a little bit of peace. How easy it is to latch onto those things which are readily accessible instead of deny ourselves a momentary pleasure. How easy it is to sneak away to get your fix than it is to admit your weakness and your temptation and be faithful to the One who adores you and longs to lavish His love upon you.
Do we truly love Jesus more than life? Most of the time my guess would be no. We don't. If we did, what a different place our lives would be. If we did, we would know that regardless of how we FEEL, we must be obedient, not just for the sake of being obedient, but because it is for our best, it is for our protection, it is for the glory of the Lord and we obey because we are in love with Him and everything in us wants to please Him, not ourselves.
If you loved Him more than your life, what would that look like to you? What would you give to Him instead of continuing to fight Him on? What sin would you lay down that you know does not please Him? How much more would you have to be in love with Him than you are now? Do you love Him more than life?
How easy it is to fall into the snare of the enemy. You're unhappy at home. Maybe work is consuming your husband. Your heart isn't seeking the fulfillment of Jesus like it should or isn't feeling fulfilled like you think it should. You're lonely. you're sad. you're hurting and there seems to be no one who understands or truly cares. You've given up yourself to gain all this... not too pleasant. Then in walks prince charming. In walks a gluttonous amount of food. In walks a shopping spree that maxes out your credit card. In walks pornography. In walks alcohol and or drugs. In walks cutting yourself. In walks gossip. In walks stealing. In walks anything that will soothe the soul for a time just to give you a little bit of peace. How easy it is to latch onto those things which are readily accessible instead of deny ourselves a momentary pleasure. How easy it is to sneak away to get your fix than it is to admit your weakness and your temptation and be faithful to the One who adores you and longs to lavish His love upon you.
Do we truly love Jesus more than life? Most of the time my guess would be no. We don't. If we did, what a different place our lives would be. If we did, we would know that regardless of how we FEEL, we must be obedient, not just for the sake of being obedient, but because it is for our best, it is for our protection, it is for the glory of the Lord and we obey because we are in love with Him and everything in us wants to please Him, not ourselves.
If you loved Him more than your life, what would that look like to you? What would you give to Him instead of continuing to fight Him on? What sin would you lay down that you know does not please Him? How much more would you have to be in love with Him than you are now? Do you love Him more than life?
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Friday, January 18, 2008
Egypt Trip
Ok, so several people have asked about my Egypt trip and I realized I hadn't posted anything on here. So here is the newsletter I sent out about my trip. :)
THE POWER OF FORGIVENESS
The main purpose of our time in Egypt was to train lay leaders in the churches. We were putting on a discipleship conference and Franny and I were asked to teach our New Life in Christ material which comes in three volumes. So we had to take this material and teach the attendees how to teach it to others. Volume one was very basic Christianity– how to read the Bible, how to pray, how to spend time with God. So we whipped through Volume one quickly. Volume two was a little more in depth and one of the chapters dealt with forgiveness. One of our translators told us that this is a very difficult subject for Egyptians and we would need to spend a little more time on it. In Egyptian culture it is not common to apologize or to forgive. To apologize would be admitting a fault and to forgive
would be a sign of weakness. So we spent much time discussing this subject and answering questions for our class. For the first day and a half there were barely any questions, but when we came to the chapter on forgiveness hands were raised across the room. God was obviously moving in their hearts and Franny, who was teaching at the time, wisely decided to stay on this topic instead of rushing to finish the second volume. God was moving in their lives and His Word was speaking to their hearts– dividing joints from marrow. After the class we noticed two young ladies staying in the chairs talking with each other. When they were done they came and shared with us that they had not spoken to each other in three months because of a fight they were having. Here they were in the same class hearing about how to forgive and they were applying it to their lives immediately! Neither one of them held anymore bitterness towards each other. One even said that since the fight she has not felt connected to God and as she released forgiveness she felt that He heard her prayers again and her heart was again connected to His! GOD IS AWESOME!
BOYS WILL BE BOYS
Several of the young men in our class heard about the conference ab
out two hours before it started. They decided to come so that they could hang out with their buddies. Then they heard that there would be young women there so they were really hooked! Once they found out that we had come all the way from America they realized that they better listen because we must have something important to say. During our class we gave some of the students an opportunity to practice being a leader by leading a small group. One of the young men said that as he was preparing to lead, the Lord convicted His heart about the way he was living his life and that he hadn’t fully given up the sin in his life. He realized that if he was going to teach others that he needed to set his heart in line with Jesus and become more Christ like. He committed himself to Jesus and repented of the sin in his life! His pastor had been trying to get him to change for months and God used a single moment to convict his heart because he was given an opportunity to lead others. We found out two weeks after the trip that 3 of these boys accepted Jesus as their Lord and Savior!!! Can I say it again? GOD IS AWESOME!
GOD’S WORK IN MY HEART
Before I left for Egypt I kept wondering, what is God’s purpose for me on this trip? Am I really going to be beneficial to the Egyptians? How is God going to use me? I wanted to be used by God. However, I soon came to realize that my idea of what being used looked like was very different from God’s idea. Isn’t that always the way it works? On the trip I began hearing people with stories of the amazing things God was doing while they were teaching or praying for someone and I didn’t have a story. The story of the two girls forgiving each other happened when Franny was teaching and I wanted my own story—some proof of how God used me so that I could know that I had purpose on this trip. Friday night that purpose still hadn’t come and I had a slight breakdown. I didn’t have a story of God using me and I didn’t know what my purpose was for the conference. Had I done something wrong? I don’t typically struggle with finding my worth in how God uses me, but it was attacking full force. I went to sleep wondering why I was in Egypt. When I woke up the next morning, clear as day the Lord said, “trust Me.” My heart was filled with peace and I knew that He would use me however He wanted and I may never know until heaven what that looked like. He allowed me to open myself to be used how He saw fit. It no longer mattered whether or not I had a story, what mattered was that God received the glory no matter how He used me.
(Thank You Very Much!)
27 HOURS LATER...
Ah laan! That means hello in Arabic. I am so glad to be home, yet already I miss the people in Egypt. What a wonderful trip! I am excited to share with each of you the work of the Lord that you were able to be a part of by sending me to this wonderful country. God is, as always, amazing and I learned so much about Him and His desire for all of His children to be able to walk with an unveiled face so that others may see His glory. So let me tell you about the trip!
First off let me say shokran (thank you) for your prayers and your financial support! Both meant so much to me! I know that God was hearing your prayers and extending an extra measure of grace to me while I was there. Shokran for being the sending team behind me so that I could bring them the encouragement of the Lord and you could reap blessing from all He did in the past week.
Franny Lowry and I started out early Tuesday morning (about 4:00am Pacific
time) to drive an hour to the airport. We had a four hour flight to Chicago where we had a two hour layover and met two more of our team. We then flew an eight hour flight to Frankfurt, Germany (not Kentucky) where we met the majority of the rest of our team and had another two hour layover. The last leg was another 4 hour flight to Cairo. There we met our national leaders and drove, what took us about 6 hours to the far side of El Minya. 27 hours after we left Ramona, we arrived, at about midnight on Wednesday, and stayed in a private, guarded, Christian conference center where our conference was to be held.
Ah laan! That means hello in Arabic. I am so glad to be home, yet already I miss the people in Egypt. What a wonderful trip! I am excited to share with each of you the work of the Lord that you were able to be a part of by sending me to this wonderful country. God is, as always, amazing and I learned so much about Him and His desire for all of His children to be able to walk with an unveiled face so that others may see His glory. So let me tell you about the trip!
First off let me say shokran (thank you) for your prayers and your financial support! Both meant so much to me! I know that God was hearing your prayers and extending an extra measure of grace to me while I was there. Shokran for being the sending team behind me so that I could bring them the encouragement of the Lord and you could reap blessing from all He did in the past week.
Franny Lowry and I started out early Tuesday morning (about 4:00am Pacific
time) to drive an hour to the airport. We had a four hour flight to Chicago where we had a two hour layover and met two more of our team. We then flew an eight hour flight to Frankfurt, Germany (not Kentucky) where we met the majority of the rest of our team and had another two hour layover. The last leg was another 4 hour flight to Cairo. There we met our national leaders and drove, what took us about 6 hours to the far side of El Minya. 27 hours after we left Ramona, we arrived, at about midnight on Wednesday, and stayed in a private, guarded, Christian conference center where our conference was to be held.THE POWER OF FORGIVENESS
The main purpose of our time in Egypt was to train lay leaders in the churches. We were putting on a discipleship conference and Franny and I were asked to teach our New Life in Christ material which comes in three volumes. So we had to take this material and teach the attendees how to teach it to others. Volume one was very basic Christianity– how to read the Bible, how to pray, how to spend time with God. So we whipped through Volume one quickly. Volume two was a little more in depth and one of the chapters dealt with forgiveness. One of our translators told us that this is a very difficult subject for Egyptians and we would need to spend a little more time on it. In Egyptian culture it is not common to apologize or to forgive. To apologize would be admitting a fault and to forgive
would be a sign of weakness. So we spent much time discussing this subject and answering questions for our class. For the first day and a half there were barely any questions, but when we came to the chapter on forgiveness hands were raised across the room. God was obviously moving in their hearts and Franny, who was teaching at the time, wisely decided to stay on this topic instead of rushing to finish the second volume. God was moving in their lives and His Word was speaking to their hearts– dividing joints from marrow. After the class we noticed two young ladies staying in the chairs talking with each other. When they were done they came and shared with us that they had not spoken to each other in three months because of a fight they were having. Here they were in the same class hearing about how to forgive and they were applying it to their lives immediately! Neither one of them held anymore bitterness towards each other. One even said that since the fight she has not felt connected to God and as she released forgiveness she felt that He heard her prayers again and her heart was again connected to His! GOD IS AWESOME!BOYS WILL BE BOYS
Several of the young men in our class heard about the conference ab
out two hours before it started. They decided to come so that they could hang out with their buddies. Then they heard that there would be young women there so they were really hooked! Once they found out that we had come all the way from America they realized that they better listen because we must have something important to say. During our class we gave some of the students an opportunity to practice being a leader by leading a small group. One of the young men said that as he was preparing to lead, the Lord convicted His heart about the way he was living his life and that he hadn’t fully given up the sin in his life. He realized that if he was going to teach others that he needed to set his heart in line with Jesus and become more Christ like. He committed himself to Jesus and repented of the sin in his life! His pastor had been trying to get him to change for months and God used a single moment to convict his heart because he was given an opportunity to lead others. We found out two weeks after the trip that 3 of these boys accepted Jesus as their Lord and Savior!!! Can I say it again? GOD IS AWESOME!GOD’S WORK IN MY HEART
Before I left for Egypt I kept wondering, what is God’s purpose for me on this trip? Am I really going to be beneficial to the Egyptians? How is God going to use me? I wanted to be used by God. However, I soon came to realize that my idea of what being used looked like was very different from God’s idea. Isn’t that always the way it works? On the trip I began hearing people with stories of the amazing things God was doing while they were teaching or praying for someone and I didn’t have a story. The story of the two girls forgiving each other happened when Franny was teaching and I wanted my own story—some proof of how God used me so that I could know that I had purpose on this trip. Friday night that purpose still hadn’t come and I had a slight breakdown. I didn’t have a story of God using me and I didn’t know what my purpose was for the conference. Had I done something wrong? I don’t typically struggle with finding my worth in how God uses me, but it was attacking full force. I went to sleep wondering why I was in Egypt. When I woke up the next morning, clear as day the Lord said, “trust Me.” My heart was filled with peace and I knew that He would use me however He wanted and I may never know until heaven what that looked like. He allowed me to open myself to be used how He saw fit. It no longer mattered whether or not I had a story, what mattered was that God received the glory no matter how He used me.
Thursday, January 3, 2008
The Love of God
I love my dog. Really I do. He's a big softy even though he looks like he could bite your hand off. He's part Rotweiller and part German Shepherd with a beautiful dark black coat. My favorite part of his coat is right behind his ears where he has two little light brown patches. I also love how where his legs turn from brown to black, the brown is peppered with black. I love how excited he gets when I come home and how all he wants to do is play all the time. I love how he loves to have his belly pet, his back scratched, and his ears rubbed. I love that every morning he wakes me up by wagging his tail back and forth so it thumps against my bed and my cedar chest. I love that his face is the first one i see in the morning as he waits for me to put my hand over the side of the bed so he can lick it and sit under it while i scratch his head. I love that as I put my face close to the side of the bed he licks it til i move (ok i don't love the slobber, but i love the gesture). I love that he looks sad as i leave every morning. I love that he can't wait to go for walks with me. I love that he loves for me to chase him. I love that he is good with my nephews and my niece. I love that he can play dead when you turn your fingers into guns and say "bang bang". I love that he can give me a high five. I love that when i ask him for a kiss- he licks my face. :) In otherwords, i love my dog. 
The other day we were getting ready for bed and i was so thrilled that God had again provided a beautiful, wonderful dog for me. (granted, i'd love for Him to provide a husband too, but a dog is a great companion.) Riley was lying at the foot of my bed and I laid down next to him, propped up on my elbows, and began to pet his head. I wanted to hug him and squeeze him and let him know how much i loved him, but i knew somehow he didn't understand the depths of my love for him and i was saddened by this thought. Then I realized, how saddened God must be as He pours out His abundant love on us and we either refuse to receive it or refuse to believe it. How often do we say God loves you to others but don't really believe it for ourselves? How often do we call Him a liar by saying "no God, You really couldn't love me"? How often do we live in bondage to fear of opening our hearts to accept His love? Do we really understand the depths of His love for us? And when we say He loves us, do we really live it as a reality or do we just say it because it's the thing to say? Has it become just another cliche in our lives?
See here's the thing. If we truly even grasped a bit of His love for us, we would stop living in fear, as His perfect love casts out ALL fear. We would no longer fear rejection, we would no longer fear what others think of us, we would no longer fear being wounded and hurt, we would no longer fear healing from our wounds. If we truly even grasped a bit of His love for us, we would no longer be unable to forgive ourselves as His love for us is constant and not based upon our actions. His love is steeped in mercy and forgiveness as it was displayed on the cross of Christ and in His resurrection. If we even truly grasped a bit of His love, we would understand who we truly are and would no longer live in guilt of what we used to do, or in shame of who we used to be. We would know that we are His Beloved, His child, His lover, the one whom He adores. We would know that His delight is in us, that He rejoices over us with singing, and that He is a warrior on our behalf. We would know within the depths of our being that we are secure in His love. See, 
even if Riley doesn't understand the depths of my love, he knows that he is cared for, that he has a home, that even if he messes up, i don't hold it against him. The one time i've really seen him look scared is when i take off his collar. To him it's a symbol of belonging. I took it off to fix his fur, but he looked concerned- like he was no longer mine, but he will always be mine. No matter what he does, i will continue to love him. He knows that he belongs to me. When he runs off he knows where his home is and how to get back there. He knows I'll be waiting for him. When I leave in the morning, he knows i'll come back to him. So while he may not understand how deeply I love him, he knows that there are securities in our relationship which are outward expressions of my love for him.
even if Riley doesn't understand the depths of my love, he knows that he is cared for, that he has a home, that even if he messes up, i don't hold it against him. The one time i've really seen him look scared is when i take off his collar. To him it's a symbol of belonging. I took it off to fix his fur, but he looked concerned- like he was no longer mine, but he will always be mine. No matter what he does, i will continue to love him. He knows that he belongs to me. When he runs off he knows where his home is and how to get back there. He knows I'll be waiting for him. When I leave in the morning, he knows i'll come back to him. So while he may not understand how deeply I love him, he knows that there are securities in our relationship which are outward expressions of my love for him. We can easily see the outward expressions of God's love for us. He displayed it in the offering of His Son for each and every one of us. There is no greater display of love than this. Jesus laid down His life for us- so undeserving, yet worth it to Him. Sometimes that act of love is so hard for us to grasp- so hard for us to relate to because it seems so long ago, but it is the greatest gift we will ever be given. It was once for all of us and it is how we know that God loves us. See I took Riley as my own, but I didn't leave it at that. I feed him, i pet him, i give him a place to sleep, i scratch his back and his belly, i rub his ears, i walk him, i play with him, all because i love him and i know those are things he enjoys. It's the same with God. He purchased us at a sacrificial price that gave us undeserved worth and displayed His love for us. But see He continues, even though He doesn't have to, by being faithful to us, by helping us walk day by day, by having grace and mercy and forgiveness readily available to all who ask for it, by giving us nourishment in His Word, by calling us His Bride and His Beloved. He loves each of us. He loves us. He loves me. He loves you and it's not just a cliche. It's Truth, and we can bank on it.
Saturday, December 22, 2007
The Peace of Christ
I imagine that it looked this very way all those years ago in Bethlehem. Now I've never been to Bethlehem mind you but i imagined it looked the same. In my mind it looked like tonight. Rolling hills that run into mountains on the horizon. Palm trees in the midst of the desert. A few lights on here and there on the hillsides. A calm, clear night with only a few clouds dusted across the midnight blue sky and brilliant points of light so easily seen by the human eye. Light falls across it all, only tonight not by a star, but by a full moon. It casts enough light to see dimly but clearly all that is on the landscape around me. I imagine that I'm there, seeing His manger, seeing His parents hold Him closely, and seeing His face, His gentle face for the first time. The face of innocence, of purity, of peace. And then a gentle breeze blows the palm fronds back and forth and though it's cold outside, ever so cold, I am warmed by His presence. Not only the presence of innocence and purity, but of majesty and power, might and awesomeness. And as I breathe it all in it is peace. Peace knowing that even as much pain and tumult that occurs in the world, it is under His watch. Peace knowing that He wins, and His will prevails whether we understand it or not. Peace that fills my very being as His Spirit washes His beloved presence over me in the stillness of this night. Peace knowing that even though I see dimly yet clearly in the light of Him, He sees all things, knows all things, holds all things gently in the palm of His hand. Peace knowing that He has given me this night, the beauty of His presence is mine, is for me as He envelops me in His adoration, though I am not worthy. Yet He is so worthy of all of my adoration, all of my honor and glory, all of my worship, yet I rarely give it all. But He constantly gives it to me and sadly that's what we want isn't it- for Him to give to us all of His love? And He does so freely, though we rarely return the sentiment, because we are His Beloved. We are His lovers. We are His passionate pursuit. We are His joy and the ones whom He adores. We are His. And in that, there is everlasting peace.
Thursday, December 6, 2007
God our Rescuer
What is it in us that says "oh God will totally help me get out of a mess in this area of my life, but not in another?" What is it in us that can't quite translate his faithfulness from one part of our life to another? We all do it. I don't know anyone who hasn't thought this way at one point in their life. Let me give you an example of a dear friend of mine.
The other day my friend said to me that she didn't want to ask God to help her with her finances because she (and her family) got themselves into trouble. Now, where else in our lives is that applicable to the way God works? Isn't the whole basis of our relationship with Him that we could not get out of our own sin and so He chose to provide a Savior for us? Do we ever ask non believers to clean themselves up and get themselves all together before they come to Jesus? No! That is what Jesus does! He provides us with the righteousness that we cannot attain on our own! So why, then, would my dear friend be surprised when the Lord decided to provide her with an extra $550 within a matter of a week when she humbled herself and finally asked for His help? He is so good at getting us out of our messes! That's what He does! If He's merciful in one area of our life, He's going to be merciful in all because that is His character- to be merciful! If He's faithful in one area of our life He will be faithful in all because that's His character- to be faithful! Yet something in our mind doesn't translate His character across the board. We think- oh but I made a poor choice so why would God help me here since I was the one who made the mistake? Um.... weren't you the one who originally made all the sinful mistakes for which He saved you? When you give your life to Him, you belong to Him! His death and resurrection didn't only cover the vagueness of our sinful nature. It covers every specific sin that we commit; every mess we get ourselves into and we sure do get ourselves into some doozies! He is faithful to pull us out of whatever pit whether we dig and jump into it or fall into it. He is faithful and merciful to help us in whatever our time of need- no matter how big or small. He is our provider, our protector, the warrior on our behalf. He is our lover, our husband, our best friend. How could we expect any less from Him, and yet we always do. We have an awesome God who loves and adores us and would sacrifice His Son to draw us to Him. It is more than we could ever deserve. If He never did anything else for us it would be enough. But that's not Him. His desire is to be in constant relationship and to constantly rescue us. Does He allow the consequences of our sin to take effect? Yes absolutely. Does He require us to fix it? No way because we cannot. He is the capable one. He is the one with the God-sized vision. He is the one who lovingly adores us out of our mess. He is the Rescuer.
There is no pit so deep that God is not deeper still
-Corrie ten Boom. 
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
