The Times they Are a Changin...

Some of you know, many of you may not, that for the past year and a half at least I've been in a very dark season of life. I've called it a dark night. I don't know if it's been a true "dark night" in the John of the Cross sense of the term or not. The Lord has seemed very far away indeed, but I've experienced an emptiness that others who have been through a dark night have not. Yet I've heard the Lord when others in a dark night have not, but there's been no Holy Spirit connection, confirmation, or "resonating" in those times of hearing the Lord. It's been almost like talking to a stranger. There have been times when I thought I'd lose my mind, and times when I thought I'd walk away from it all. It's been a difficult road with few- maybe only one- who truly understood- some with good intentions but attempts that fell short to "get it", give advice that didn't apply, or cast looks like I was losing it.

But it seems to me that the times they are a changin... Whether or not the "dark night" is ending I don't fully know. It may be coming to a close, but that close could last 6 more months. But closing it could very well be. Some healing has begun. Some trusting is taking place. I have started opening my heart again to the Lord where I hadn't even realized I had closed it to Him. My sister, whom I love dearly, has said before that sometimes we just need to get over the past. Well there's truth to that in part, but really we need to let the Lord heal the past. It's not just a matter of getting over it, we need to allow the Lord to heal it. We need to let Him touch those wounds and bring healing to the places that still hurt because they still affect us and the way we respond and react to people today- whether we realize it or not. I thought I had forgiven someone and released a hurt of the past but little did I know it was still there keeping me from trusting again, and keeping me from trusting the Lord with the people He brought into my life. And I needed to forgive myself and receive His forgiveness for my past sins, where I thought I had done that as well. But I was still holding on, holding it over myself- condemning myself for it even though there is no more condemnation in Christ. I had to let it go. I had to receive His forgiveness before the freedom could come. And when I did, it was like I could see again. The room was so much brighter.

So I changed the name of my blog because it's time for change. And this coming year I'm hoping to post more often. And my intent is to post about the blessings of the Lord as I see them- the things I'm thankful for. Because really there's enough complaining going on in this world and the Bible says to be thankful in all things. So that's my intent. I may even start tomorrow because there have been some cool little things that the Lord has done recently. He's a good God. And worth of our praise. Join me, won't you?