From the Valley to Victory

Truly a Gift from the Lord

2012-01-19T08:42:00.000-08:00

I had been serving as the 2nd and 3rd grade Sunday School teacher at my church for a couple of years and truly did enjoy the kids that I had been working with. However I felt that the Lord was bringing that season to a close. I knew that time was ending and even though I wasn't sure what He had for me next, I wanted to be obedient and allow for someone else to take my place to better serve the next group of kids that were moving into that class.

I was already serving by running the sound board a few times a month for the worship team, but my heart's desire was to actually be on the worship team. It was this that I loosely held before the Lord as there really wasn't a place for me there, being that I sing harmonies, and that the worship team already has a wonderful "backup" singer. But yet, I felt that somehow the Lord would open that door in His timing. Worship has always been one of my passions and the Lord has taken me all over the place with it. In high school I learned how to play the guitar and so was thrown into leading songs at the youth group I was a part of. In college I led worship and co lead worship, playing guitar, and drums. When I went to Seminary and was part of CrossOver Ministries I led worship, and while I was living in Atlanta, I led worship for the Women's Ministry events, and had the opportunity to play guitar on the church worship team with some of the most talented worship leaders I've ever met. Men like Tony Sutherland, Adam Herod, and Shan Wallace, and then Joy Langana Chamblee who used to sing with Women of Faith. Amazing people a

nd it was so humbling to be a part of that group. I remember there were times when Adam would lead worship and he had a lot of funk in his style and I would have to turn of my guitar and fake my way through it because he would play chords I'd never heard of.

Anyway, so worship has always been a part of my life. And I learned a lot, especially from my days in Atlanta, sitting under the likes of Tony and Adam. But there was a time in college, when I wanted to learn to sing harmonies. In fact there were these two girls that I tried to sing a song by First Call with and I was supposed to sing one of the harmonies for it.

And I practiced and practiced and practiced and practiced. And when I sang with the cd, I could sing it just fine and hear it just fine, but when I went to sing it with the two girls, I would always slip into singing one of their parts. I couldn't hold my part. I couldn't hold the harmony. It was a very frustrating experience for me.

So I began to pray. I have told people that I prayed for a year, so it must have been at least a year. But it could've been more. I'm not exactly sure anymore how long it was, but I prayed for along time. I prayed for the ability to hear and sing harmonies. I asked the Lord for that gift. I asked Him to grant that to me, and I prayed all the time and asked Him for the ability to bring Him glory in that way through worship. And then one day, it just happened. I don't even remember the day to be perfectly honest. I don't remember when or where it happened. I don't remember how. I just remember I could hear them and I could sing them. And it truly is a gift. It's very humbling to know that it's a gift and it's one where I have to constantly rely on Him. There are times, and I know it doesn't always make sense, where I don't always hear the note I'm supposed to sing, but I just know that if I open my mouth, He'll sing that right note through me. It's an amazing experience to have with the Lord. And it's one that keeps my humble. I used to sing lead but that wasn't my desire, nor do I truly believe it was the Lord's. I know my struggle with pride and so does the Lord. Most of the time, people don't come up to the "backup" singer to compliment them on their voice or on the worship service, and that's a good thing for me. It keeps me humble. And if they should, as one gentleman did at the Christmas Eve service, I had to be sure to give the glory to the Lord. He told me he enjoyed my harmonies and I had to be very quick to tell him, they were a gift from the Lord and I have to rely on him to sing them, thank you.

The Lord is good, and He is the giver of all good gifts. This past week, 5 months after I stepped away from my Sunday school teaching position, I found out that I will be put into a rotation on the worship team. They want to start giving the worship team more breaks so the same people aren't getting burnt out by being up there every weekend for every service. Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart. He truly is the desire of my heart, and I am so honored and humbled that He would allow me the opportunity to help lead others into worshipping Him and using the gift He's given me to bring Him glory.

Who Needs Sleep??

2012-01-12T08:33:00.000-08:00

Normally if I'm writing about how I'm thankful or blessed and it has to do with sleeping, I'd be saying that I'm thankful I actually slept through the night, or I'm thankful that I woke up feeling rested finally. Because that hasn't happened in at least a year if not longer. Sleep has become truly a precious thing to me but such a source of frustration at the same time. It doesn't seem to matter how much or how little I get, I don't wake up rested- I usually wake up feeling like I've slept maybe an hour or two. It makes for long, tiring days- days where at some point sleep almost overtakes me (yesterday it was while I was driving- that's not good). It's a frustration because I feel like I can't think as clearly, I haven't been able to get up early to walk my dog as often, or get up to exercise like I used to, and when I get home from work, I'm usually beat.

But the point of this blog is not to complain, so I apologize for digressing. The point is to tell you about how the Lord blessed me, and yesterday morning, I was blessed by the Lord waking me early. He does that every so often- and lately it's honestly been less than it used to be- maybe because He knows I need the sleep. But yesterday morning He woke me (I don't use an alarm clock- He wakes me every morning) at 5:40am and gave me the grace to get up and walk my dog. And I'm so glad I listened to Him, because it would've been easy to go back to sleep, but I'm thankful I didn't. Because I would've missed this blessing. Not only would I have missed the blessing of getting outside- which truly is a necessity for me, but I would've missed this:

Let them Eat Cake!

2012-01-03T19:36:00.000-08:00

Ok, so it may seem a silly thing to be thankful for, but 2 years ago (was it only 2 years??), my sister and sister in law got me what turned out to be the greatest gift for my birthday... or was it Christmas?? Either way, it was a gift certificate to a class of my choosing at Amy Malone's School of Cake Decorating. Little did I know what I was in for. I could choose any class on her list worth a certain amount, and so I chose the basic beginners cake decorating class which seemed to be the best class for the value.

I honestly had never been interested in cake decorating- for me it always seemed a little too... well... girly. And those of you who know my story, know that I was never girly growing up. Quite the opposite. I liked to eat cake, but the thought of decorating and the detail involved seemed too delicate for me. I'm truly thankful to the Lord that He has done such a work in me that I was ok with that girly side coming out in so much so that I truly fell in love with cake decorating and the artistry behind it. I really have very little artistic ability but I love novelty cakes and making them for my family and friends. Here's the donut cake I just finished tonight.

Not much in the way of decorating, but there is a donut glaze on the outside and it is filled with a homemade bavarian cream (yum!).

Who knew I had such a love not only for cake decorating, but for baking in general. If I could go to pastry school, I would. And really, I may. If the Lord provides and way, it's what I'd love to do. We'll see.

But more than just learning how to decorate cakes, for which I'm truly blessed and thankful for, I met and made a wonderful group of friends that went through three sets of classes together with Amy and we've been together since. Amy's Cake Club (as we affectionately call ourselves) have continued to gather together for potlucks and Amy's house every couple of months and these aren't just people who I'm linked to because of Amy anymore, these are my friends, my sisters- women who are dear to me. Each of them has a special place in my heart. Amy, who taught me everything I know (she tries to push blame off on another teacher but really I learned it all from her) and who has one of the best sense's of humor ever. Delys who is so quiet, and humble and such a servant- sweet spirited and willing to help at anytime. Nina- so boisterous and funny, always ready with a story and a hug, wanting to make anyone laugh, and ready to fight for anyone who is oppressed. Cathy with her sweet, innocence and her pure joy no matter what is going on, she always has a smile and a good word to say. She literally lights up the room when she walks in... or is that the cloud of flower and sugar all over her? Julieta, the Mexican momma who makes great food and adores her daughter and would do anything for her, and who is there for her friends. Nicole, the dear sweet girl who is coming into her own and learning how to stand up for herself, and not worry about what others think about her cause she's beautiful as she is. And then Candi, who just wants to be loved and has so much love to give others- constantly giving out and serving and looking out for everyone but herself.

Such precious women who bring joy and laughter into my life. I'm thankful for each and every one of them. They have blessed me beyond belief and I love them tremedously. I pray that each of them know the depths and heighths and width of the Lord's love for them one day and that they would truly know all He has done on their behalf.

How Can I Not Be Thankful

2011-12-24T09:19:00.001-08:00

There is so much to be thankful for in this season and it's easy to get so caught up in the presents, the gift giving the wrapping paper, the family coming, the traditions, the exclusivity of spending your holidays with only the people you want to spend them with. I'm all for all of that stuff. But there are a few things I am compelled to keep in mind this season which keep me humble and truly thankful.

First is that there are many men and women living on the streets who have no one to share Christmas with. We are blessed to be in our homes with our families with our food and warmth, but don't forget about those who are less fortunate than we are. Don't forget the poor and oppressed. What was one of Daniel's warning to Nebuchadnezzar before he fell into humility? "Show mercy to the poor." Let's not be so exclusive that we forget to show mercy to the poor- whether it be the financially poor, or the emotionally poor. Some people just don't have family nearby and can't make it home to be with them for Christmas. Let's include them in our celebrations.

Second is our military that are serving overseas who are spending Christmas in combat, away from their families. Thank you to each and every one of you who are serving and thank you to each of your families who miss them desperately this Christmas. We are praying for you and are thankful for the freedoms you provide.

Lastly how can I not be grateful for the greatest gift ever given; the reason we celebrate Christmas in the first place. No it's not the gift giving and getting, it's not the trees, it's not the food, or Santa. It's Jesus. Thank you God for sending your Son, Jesus Christ, who condescended to us- left His place in heaven to take on the form of a man so that He would be able to understand us and relate to us and we would have an example to follow. He was a man born to die and was the greatest gift this entire world has ever seen because He was given for this entire world- no one group of people more than another. He was given for us all and we can all received Him. Thank You Father for your Son, for allowing this world to see Him for 33 years- 33 years that forever changed the course of history. That forever changed my life. Thank You!

I Can't Imagine Being Anywhere Else

2011-12-19T21:42:00.000-08:00

It wasn't like I hadn't heard those words before, it was the fact of where I was sitting when I heard them. It wasn't just that I was in a dining hall, but it was where this dining hall was located.

My best friend, Franny, and I had finished singing some Christmas caroles for the Christmas program and I sat across from Hailey whom I had just met. She wore the same orange top and pants, and state issued workboots that every other person in the dining hall wore. The words CDCR PRISONER stamped across the back and down the legs of the outfit made it clear that she belonged to the state. Her crime was unknown to me, but her sweet spirit made me not care what it was. It could have been the most heinous of crimes, but it was clear her life was different. There was peace and love in her eyes.

"How much longer are you here?" I asked her.
"Til July. I get out in July and then I'll go stay with my sister in San Bernadino." We talked a little bit about her family, her mother who had passed away, her father who she never really had a relationship with, her sister who never wrote. But it was all "ok" to her.
"What do you miss the most?" I wondered.
"I miss the simple things, like walking on the beach. That's what I want to do when I get out. I don't really have much of plan because I want Jesus to tell me what to do. I want to follow His plan for me and His will. I want to go where He tells me to go and do what He tells me to do."
"That's a great plan." I said.
"This is really a beautiful place here, you know. I can't imagine what I'd be doing if I weren't here. I honestly can't imagine being anywhere else because this is exactly where God wants me right now."
"That is an amazing attitude to have." One that we could all learn from, especially me. Here, a prisoner of the state up at the Rainbow conservation camp can't imagine being anywhere else. Some would say- that's a good thing because she doesn't have a choice. True, but she has a choice about her attitude, as do we. She could fight it, she could pout, or whine, or rebel but instead she sees it as the hand of the Lord and that this is where He has her for now. In His sovereignty, He has her right where He wants her and she is content to be there-submitting herself to His will.
Hailey, you above most people I know, myself included, understand the true meaning of Freedom. I have been blessed to meet you even if only for a few moments and trust that it was a divine appointment set up by a Sovereign Lord.

You are Never Out of My Sight

2011-12-16T19:58:00.000-08:00

I won't tell you the whole story but needless to say I was coming out of, or trying to come out of Amboseli National Park on the border of Tanzania and Kenya. Pretty much all you could see was dirt in most directions although if you looked far enough Mt. Kilamanjaro was in the distance. There was a group of us on this trip and a few of us had thoroughly enjoyed ourselves watching the wildlife and seeing the Lord's creation- the elephants, zebras, ostrichs, giraffes- all completely wild and roaming free. Some in the van were less than thrilled with the driver and his "shortcuts" through the desert and were a bit uptight. We'd already been through one flat tire and a two hour ride that turned into four just to get there so yes, some were a bit on edge. But the Lord had given me the gift of Faith that day and I knew that I knew that He knew where we were, that He knew what we needed. And even in the middle of no where, He saw us. Even in the middle of the desert, He saw and He would provide, and He did just that. After we got stuck in the sand and to all get out so the men could push the van out of the sand (which took a good twenty minutes), the tensions were high with most. But as we got going and drove along again towards the main road, there on it's own standing no more than 10 feet from our van was the most beautiful giraffe. It mesmerized the van and brought peace to tense hearts. It was the Lord's way of letting everyone know that He had us- He knew where we were and knew what we needed and wouldn't let anything happen to us that was out of His hands.
So the giraffe has always had this significance to me. I have a couple of them sitting on my night stand and got one while I was in Uganda. But for whatever reason this one seemed more significant to me and I don't know exactly why. Maybe it was just the timing. It came at the end of what honestly seemed to be one of the worst weeks in the past year and a half; a week where the stress was piled on, I fought with friends and family; unkind words were spoken; hurtful things had been done and said, and it was just a terrible week. So yes, I think it was tht timing. At our care group we did a gift exchange and this was the first gift that was opened. I happened to be the last person to either pick a gift to open or steal a gift and this is what I stole because it just seemed like the Lord was saying "This is for you. I still see you no matter where you are, no matter what's happened. I know where you are and what you need and will provide it. And I love you."

The Times they Are a Changin...

2011-12-15T14:45:00.001-08:00

Some of you know, many of you may not, that for the past year and a half at least I've been in a very dark season of life. I've called it a dark night. I don't know if it's been a true "dark night" in the John of the Cross sense of the term or not. The Lord has seemed very far away indeed, but I've experienced an emptiness that others who have been through a dark night have not. Yet I've heard the Lord when others in a dark night have not, but there's been no Holy Spirit connection, confirmation, or "resonating" in those times of hearing the Lord. It's been almost like talking to a stranger. There have been times when I thought I'd lose my mind, and times when I thought I'd walk away from it all. It's been a difficult road with few- maybe only one- who truly understood- some with good intentions but attempts that fell short to "get it", give advice that didn't apply, or cast looks like I was losing it.

But it seems to me that the times they are a changin... Whether or not the "dark night" is ending I don't fully know. It may be coming to a close, but that close could last 6 more months. But closing it could very well be. Some healing has begun. Some trusting is taking place. I have started opening my heart again to the Lord where I hadn't even realized I had closed it to Him. My sister, whom I love dearly, has said before that sometimes we just need to get over the past. Well there's truth to that in part, but really we need to let the Lord heal the past. It's not just a matter of getting over it, we need to allow the Lord to heal it. We need to let Him touch those wounds and bring healing to the places that still hurt because they still affect us and the way we respond and react to people today- whether we realize it or not. I thought I had forgiven someone and released a hurt of the past but little did I know it was still there keeping me from trusting again, and keeping me from trusting the Lord with the people He brought into my life. And I needed to forgive myself and receive His forgiveness for my past sins, where I thought I had done that as well. But I was still holding on, holding it over myself- condemning myself for it even though there is no more condemnation in Christ. I had to let it go. I had to receive His forgiveness before the freedom could come. And when I did, it was like I could see again. The room was so much brighter.

So I changed the name of my blog because it's time for change. And this coming year I'm hoping to post more often. And my intent is to post about the blessings of the Lord as I see them- the things I'm thankful for. Because really there's enough complaining going on in this world and the Bible says to be thankful in all things. So that's my intent. I may even start tomorrow because there have been some cool little things that the Lord has done recently. He's a good God. And worth of our praise. Join me, won't you?

Seeing if this works

2010-06-11T11:26:00.001-07:00

Long time no.... blog

2009-03-24T11:05:00.001-07:00

Ok, so i made it back before a year was up- not too shabby. ok, so it IS shabby.

There is a lot going on right now it seems. I'm working still on getting Totally Committed under way. We have hired the great Shan Wallace to redo our logo, business cards, letterhead, etc. If you need some of that done I would highly recommend him. http://www.gamads.com/

Anyway, but life has gotten interesting. I can't say too much yet, but i have a feeling things will be very different for me in the next year. I'm just trusting the Lord and seeing what He does.

I have found though that there is a balance between allowing the Lord to work and moving out in faith to make things happen. A lot of my thoughts have been that I want the Lord to make things happen because really I don't want to get ahead of Him and I don't want to move out of my flesh. I want to know that it's Him so I wait for Him to do it. But there really has to be a balance. I think waiting on Him is right, but I think too that we at times have to put ourselves out there as well and allow Him to work through us or put us in a position where He wants us. I think we need to seek His next step for us and move when He says move and not be afraid.

Does any of that make any sense?

More Than Life?

2008-07-17T10:25:00.000-07:00

I'm truly at a loss for words at the moment. I came to work to an email from a long time friend that said his wife was leaving him for another man. They've been married for 21 years. Wow. They are both Christians. Wow. I'm sitting here now heartbroken for this family. Heartbroken for this man and his kids. Heartbroken for this woman who is being so obviously deceived. And yet here I am listening to a worship song called More than Life. "I love You more than life (Jesus), oh I love You more than life." How true is that really? How much do we love him more than our own life? really? Many of us may sit in judgment of this woman who cheated on her husband and children; "at least I'm not as bad as her! I can't believe she would do such a thing!" And yet how often have we loved our own life more than Jesus, more than the freedom and the new life He's given? That new life means dying to the old one and none of can say that we've done that 100% perfectly.

How easy it is to fall into the snare of the enemy. You're unhappy at home. Maybe work is consuming your husband. Your heart isn't seeking the fulfillment of Jesus like it should or isn't feeling fulfilled like you think it should. You're lonely. you're sad. you're hurting and there seems to be no one who understands or truly cares. You've given up yourself to gain all this... not too pleasant. Then in walks prince charming. In walks a gluttonous amount of food. In walks a shopping spree that maxes out your credit card. In walks pornography. In walks alcohol and or drugs. In walks cutting yourself. In walks gossip. In walks stealing. In walks anything that will soothe the soul for a time just to give you a little bit of peace. How easy it is to latch onto those things which are readily accessible instead of deny ourselves a momentary pleasure. How easy it is to sneak away to get your fix than it is to admit your weakness and your temptation and be faithful to the One who adores you and longs to lavish His love upon you.

Do we truly love Jesus more than life? Most of the time my guess would be no. We don't. If we did, what a different place our lives would be. If we did, we would know that regardless of how we FEEL, we must be obedient, not just for the sake of being obedient, but because it is for our best, it is for our protection, it is for the glory of the Lord and we obey because we are in love with Him and everything in us wants to please Him, not ourselves.

If you loved Him more than your life, what would that look like to you? What would you give to Him instead of continuing to fight Him on? What sin would you lay down that you know does not please Him? How much more would you have to be in love with Him than you are now? Do you love Him more than life?

Totally Committed Ministries

2008-02-24T18:04:00.000-08:00

Please check out our new website at www.totallycommittedministries.org We are up and running!

Egypt Trip

2008-01-18T08:40:00.001-08:00

Ok, so several people have asked about my Egypt trip and I realized I hadn't posted anything on here. So here is the newsletter I sent out about my trip. :)

(Thank You Very Much!)

27 HOURS LATER...

Ah laan! That means hello in Arabic. I am so glad to be home, yet already I miss the people in Egypt. What a wonderful trip! I am excited to share with each of you the work of the Lord that you were able to be a part of by sending me to this wonderful country. God is, as always, amazing and I learned so much about Him and His desire for all of His children to be able to walk with an unveiled face so that others may see His glory. So let me tell you about the trip!

First off let me say shokran (thank you) for your prayers and your financial support! Both meant so much to me! I know that God was hearing your prayers and extending an extra measure of grace to me while I was there. Shokran for being the sending team behind me so that I could bring them the encouragement of the Lord and you could reap blessing from all He did in the past week.

Franny Lowry and I started out early Tuesday morning (about 4:00am Pacific time) to drive an hour to the airport. We had a four hour flight to Chicago where we had a two hour layover and met two more of our team. We then flew an eight hour flight to Frankfurt, Germany (not Kentucky) where we met the majority of the rest of our team and had another two hour layover. The last leg was another 4 hour flight to Cairo. There we met our national leaders and drove, what took us about 6 hours to the far side of El Minya. 27 hours after we left Ramona, we arrived, at about midnight on Wednesday, and stayed in a private, guarded, Christian conference center where our conference was to be held.

THE POWER OF FORGIVENESS
The main purpose of our time in Egypt was to train lay leaders in the churches. We were putting on a discipleship conference and Franny and I were asked to teach our New Life in Christ material which comes in three volumes. So we had to take this material and teach the attendees how to teach it to others. Volume one was very basic Christianity– how to read the Bible, how to pray, how to spend time with God. So we whipped through Volume one quickly. Volume two was a little more in depth and one of the chapters dealt with forgiveness. One of our translators told us that this is a very difficult subject for Egyptians and we would need to spend a little more time on it. In Egyptian culture it is not common to apologize or to forgive. To apologize would be admitting a fault and to forgive would be a sign of weakness. So we spent much time discussing this subject and answering questions for our class. For the first day and a half there were barely any questions, but when we came to the chapter on forgiveness hands were raised across the room. God was obviously moving in their hearts and Franny, who was teaching at the time, wisely decided to stay on this topic instead of rushing to finish the second volume. God was moving in their lives and His Word was speaking to their hearts– dividing joints from marrow. After the class we noticed two young ladies staying in the chairs talking with each other. When they were done they came and shared with us that they had not spoken to each other in three months because of a fight they were having. Here they were in the same class hearing about how to forgive and they were applying it to their lives immediately! Neither one of them held anymore bitterness towards each other. One even said that since the fight she has not felt connected to God and as she released forgiveness she felt that He heard her prayers again and her heart was again connected to His! GOD IS AWESOME!

BOYS WILL BE BOYS
Several of the young men in our class heard about the conference about two hours before it started. They decided to come so that they could hang out with their buddies. Then they heard that there would be young women there so they were really hooked! Once they found out that we had come all the way from America they realized that they better listen because we must have something important to say. During our class we gave some of the students an opportunity to practice being a leader by leading a small group. One of the young men said that as he was preparing to lead, the Lord convicted His heart about the way he was living his life and that he hadn’t fully given up the sin in his life. He realized that if he was going to teach others that he needed to set his heart in line with Jesus and become more Christ like. He committed himself to Jesus and repented of the sin in his life! His pastor had been trying to get him to change for months and God used a single moment to convict his heart because he was given an opportunity to lead others. We found out two weeks after the trip that 3 of these boys accepted Jesus as their Lord and Savior!!! Can I say it again? GOD IS AWESOME!

GOD’S WORK IN MY HEART
Before I left for Egypt I kept wondering, what is God’s purpose for me on this trip? Am I really going to be beneficial to the Egyptians? How is God going to use me? I wanted to be used by God. However, I soon came to realize that my idea of what being used looked like was very different from God’s idea. Isn’t that always the way it works? On the trip I began hearing people with stories of the amazing things God was doing while they were teaching or praying for someone and I didn’t have a story. The story of the two girls forgiving each other happened when Franny was teaching and I wanted my own story—some proof of how God used me so that I could know that I had purpose on this trip. Friday night that purpose still hadn’t come and I had a slight breakdown. I didn’t have a story of God using me and I didn’t know what my purpose was for the conference. Had I done something wrong? I don’t typically struggle with finding my worth in how God uses me, but it was attacking full force. I went to sleep wondering why I was in Egypt. When I woke up the next morning, clear as day the Lord said, “trust Me.” My heart was filled with peace and I knew that He would use me however He wanted and I may never know until heaven what that looked like. He allowed me to open myself to be used how He saw fit. It no longer mattered whether or not I had a story, what mattered was that God received the glory no matter how He used me.

The Love of God

2008-01-03T15:01:00.000-08:00

I love my dog. Really I do. He's a big softy even though he looks like he could bite your hand off. He's part Rotweiller and part German Shepherd with a beautiful dark black coat. My favorite part of his coat is right behind his ears where he has two little light brown patches. I also love how where his legs turn from brown to black, the brown is peppered with black. I love how excited he gets when I come home and how all he wants to do is play all the time. I love how he loves to have his belly pet, his back scratched, and his ears rubbed. I love that every morning he wakes me up by wagging his tail back and forth so it thumps against my bed and my cedar chest. I love that his face is the first one i see in the morning as he waits for me to put my hand over the side of the bed so he can lick it and sit under it while i scratch his head. I love that as I put my face close to the side of the bed he licks it til i move (ok i don't love the slobber, but i love the gesture). I love that he looks sad as i leave every morning. I love that he can't wait to go for walks with me. I love that he loves for me to chase him. I love that he is good with my nephews and my niece. I love that he can play dead when you turn your fingers into guns and say "bang bang". I love that he can give me a high five. I love that when i ask him for a kiss- he licks my face. :) In otherwords, i love my dog.

The other day we were getting ready for bed and i was so thrilled that God had again provided a beautiful, wonderful dog for me. (granted, i'd love for Him to provide a husband too, but a dog is a great companion.) Riley was lying at the foot of my bed and I laid down next to him, propped up on my elbows, and began to pet his head. I wanted to hug him and squeeze him and let him know how much i loved him, but i knew somehow he didn't understand the depths of my love for him and i was saddened by this thought. Then I realized, how saddened God must be as He pours out His abundant love on us and we either refuse to receive it or refuse to believe it. How often do we say God loves you to others but don't really believe it for ourselves? How often do we call Him a liar by saying "no God, You really couldn't love me"? How often do we live in bondage to fear of opening our hearts to accept His love? Do we really understand the depths of His love for us? And when we say He loves us, do we really live it as a reality or do we just say it because it's the thing to say? Has it become just another cliche in our lives?

See here's the thing. If we truly even grasped a bit of His love for us, we would stop living in fear, as His perfect love casts out ALL fear. We would no longer fear rejection, we would no longer fear what others think of us, we would no longer fear being wounded and hurt, we would no longer fear healing from our wounds. If we truly even grasped a bit of His love for us, we would no longer be unable to forgive ourselves as His love for us is constant and not based upon our actions. His love is steeped in mercy and forgiveness as it was displayed on the cross of Christ and in His resurrection. If we even truly grasped a bit of His love, we would understand who we truly are and would no longer live in guilt of what we used to do, or in shame of who we used to be. We would know that we are His Beloved, His child, His lover, the one whom He adores. We would know that His delight is in us, that He rejoices over us with singing, and that He is a warrior on our behalf. We would know within the depths of our being that we are secure in His love. See, even if Riley doesn't understand the depths of my love, he knows that he is cared for, that he has a home, that even if he messes up, i don't hold it against him. The one time i've really seen him look scared is when i take off his collar. To him it's a symbol of belonging. I took it off to fix his fur, but he looked concerned- like he was no longer mine, but he will always be mine. No matter what he does, i will continue to love him. He knows that he belongs to me. When he runs off he knows where his home is and how to get back there. He knows I'll be waiting for him. When I leave in the morning, he knows i'll come back to him. So while he may not understand how deeply I love him, he knows that there are securities in our relationship which are outward expressions of my love for him.

We can easily see the outward expressions of God's love for us. He displayed it in the offering of His Son for each and every one of us. There is no greater display of love than this. Jesus laid down His life for us- so undeserving, yet worth it to Him. Sometimes that act of love is so hard for us to grasp- so hard for us to relate to because it seems so long ago, but it is the greatest gift we will ever be given. It was once for all of us and it is how we know that God loves us. See I took Riley as my own, but I didn't leave it at that. I feed him, i pet him, i give him a place to sleep, i scratch his back and his belly, i rub his ears, i walk him, i play with him, all because i love him and i know those are things he enjoys. It's the same with God. He purchased us at a sacrificial price that gave us undeserved worth and displayed His love for us. But see He continues, even though He doesn't have to, by being faithful to us, by helping us walk day by day, by having grace and mercy and forgiveness readily available to all who ask for it, by giving us nourishment in His Word, by calling us His Bride and His Beloved. He loves each of us. He loves us. He loves me. He loves you and it's not just a cliche. It's Truth, and we can bank on it.

The Peace of Christ

2007-12-22T23:45:00.000-08:00

I imagine that it looked this very way all those years ago in Bethlehem. Now I've never been to Bethlehem mind you but i imagined it looked the same. In my mind it looked like tonight. Rolling hills that run into mountains on the horizon. Palm trees in the midst of the desert. A few lights on here and there on the hillsides. A calm, clear night with only a few clouds dusted across the midnight blue sky and brilliant points of light so easily seen by the human eye. Light falls across it all, only tonight not by a star, but by a full moon. It casts enough light to see dimly but clearly all that is on the landscape around me. I imagine that I'm there, seeing His manger, seeing His parents hold Him closely, and seeing His face, His gentle face for the first time. The face of innocence, of purity, of peace. And then a gentle breeze blows the palm fronds back and forth and though it's cold outside, ever so cold, I am warmed by His presence. Not only the presence of innocence and purity, but of majesty and power, might and awesomeness. And as I breathe it all in it is peace. Peace knowing that even as much pain and tumult that occurs in the world, it is under His watch. Peace knowing that He wins, and His will prevails whether we understand it or not. Peace that fills my very being as His Spirit washes His beloved presence over me in the stillness of this night. Peace knowing that even though I see dimly yet clearly in the light of Him, He sees all things, knows all things, holds all things gently in the palm of His hand. Peace knowing that He has given me this night, the beauty of His presence is mine, is for me as He envelops me in His adoration, though I am not worthy. Yet He is so worthy of all of my adoration, all of my honor and glory, all of my worship, yet I rarely give it all. But He constantly gives it to me and sadly that's what we want isn't it- for Him to give to us all of His love? And He does so freely, though we rarely return the sentiment, because we are His Beloved. We are His lovers. We are His passionate pursuit. We are His joy and the ones whom He adores. We are His. And in that, there is everlasting peace.

God our Rescuer

2007-12-06T11:30:00.000-08:00

What is it in us that says "oh God will totally help me get out of a mess in this area of my life, but not in another?" What is it in us that can't quite translate his faithfulness from one part of our life to another? We all do it. I don't know anyone who hasn't thought this way at one point in their life. Let me give you an example of a dear friend of mine.

The other day my friend said to me that she didn't want to ask God to help her with her finances because she (and her family) got themselves into trouble. Now, where else in our lives is that applicable to the way God works? Isn't the whole basis of our relationship with Him that we could not get out of our own sin and so He chose to provide a Savior for us? Do we ever ask non believers to clean themselves up and get themselves all together before they come to Jesus? No! That is what Jesus does! He provides us with the righteousness that we cannot attain on our own! So why, then, would my dear friend be surprised when the Lord decided to provide her with an extra $550 within a matter of a week when she humbled herself and finally asked for His help? He is so good at getting us out of our messes! That's what He does! If He's merciful in one area of our life, He's going to be merciful in all because that is His character- to be merciful! If He's faithful in one area of our life He will be faithful in all because that's His character- to be faithful! Yet something in our mind doesn't translate His character across the board. We think- oh but I made a poor choice so why would God help me here since I was the one who made the mistake? Um.... weren't you the one who originally made all the sinful mistakes for which He saved you? When you give your life to Him, you belong to Him! His death and resurrection didn't only cover the vagueness of our sinful nature. It covers every specific sin that we commit; every mess we get ourselves into and we sure do get ourselves into some doozies! He is faithful to pull us out of whatever pit whether we dig and jump into it or fall into it. He is faithful and merciful to help us in whatever our time of need- no matter how big or small. He is our provider, our protector, the warrior on our behalf. He is our lover, our husband, our best friend. How could we expect any less from Him, and yet we always do. We have an awesome God who loves and adores us and would sacrifice His Son to draw us to Him. It is more than we could ever deserve. If He never did anything else for us it would be enough. But that's not Him. His desire is to be in constant relationship and to constantly rescue us. Does He allow the consequences of our sin to take effect? Yes absolutely. Does He require us to fix it? No way because we cannot. He is the capable one. He is the one with the God-sized vision. He is the one who lovingly adores us out of our mess. He is the Rescuer.

There is no pit so deep that God is not deeper still

-Corrie ten Boom.

Midnight musings

2007-11-23T21:14:00.000-08:00

Today i feel very small. I know, really in comparison to the world out there I am. In comparison to my God, I am a speck of dust... if even that big. I have been reading through Jeremiah very slowly- because i'm a terribly slow reader, and I like to ponder what I'm reading instead of zipping through it (something about quality time... right Franny? :) ). I've had verses in Jeremiah prophesied over me before- Jer 1:9-10 and Jeremiah 9:1 but those were't the verses that stood out to me this time. There was one that I read over and over again, but i wasn't sure that it was really grabbing me. I thought at first it was kind of odd for it to catch my attention and then i realized what the Lord was saying to me. Jeremiah 3:1b says, "But you have prostituted yourself with many lovers, says the Lord. Yet I am still calling you to come back to me." What I originally thought was, what was wrong with these Israelites that they couldn't see the hand of the Lord and follow Him with as much as He'd done for them, and quickly my thoughts turned to, how like me. How many times have I walked away and prostituted myself with my many lovers? How many times have I turned my back on him and given myself to another love? How many times have i disregarded the fact that He is God and He calls me to obedience to Him? How like my heart to prostitute itself. How like all of us. Really, why is it so difficult for us to walk away from the 5 year old mentality of I want what I want and I don't care what the consequences? What will it take for us to learn obedience no matter what the cost and no matter what the pain? Can't we realize that the pain will be greater if we are disobedient?

Yet how like God. Though I prostituted myself, how like the Lord to keep calling me to come back to Him. How like Him to woo me out of my Gomer identity. How like him to buy me back out of the slavery which i willingly allow to capture my heart. How like him to come in and rescue me from my captors, whether I realize I want to be rescued or not. What an amazing and awesome God we have who so willingly wipes my spit off of His face and looks lovingly into my eyes and whispers, please come back to me. Continually He calls my name, wooing me as His lover, wooing my heart to love Him and Him alone, wooing me to obedience to Him, not because He wants me to fall in line and take orders. But because He loves me and doesn't want to see me hurt. His love is my protection. He woos me with all the love and compassion that He has for me because he knows if I don't obey, I am going to go through a lot of pain and anguish. “My love, come back to me and leave your other lovers. PLEASE, and trust Me. You may not understand why I’m asking this of you, but just PLEASE trust Me. I have your best in mind and I want to protect you from the pain that’s going to come your way if you disobey. Please let me protect you. Please. I just want to wrap you in My arms and keep you from harm because I love you so much and I can’t bare to see you go through unnecessary pain. Please trust Me.”

What an awesome God. Isn't that the kind of love we can submit to? That's the kind of love that's offered to us everyday if only we'd surrender to it and allow our hearts to be open to His romance. He will romance us. He longs to romance us. Open your heart and allow Him to woo you.

The Sovereign Hand of God

2007-10-30T11:05:00.000-07:00

This is an email I just put out to some friends, but it's exactly what I want to say about the fires that occured this past week. Blessings to you all!

Thank you all for your prayers and concerns regarding the fires last week. I started sending an update and then all of the sudden my computer froze. I hate when that happens.
I did return home on Friday afternoon/evening and everything looked somewhat normal, but dirty. Our pool is nice and black. There was ash and soot all over the ground outside of our home. The air is still smokey. But the hand of God was merciful. Our subdivision went untouched. I also heard many stories of how He was merciful to the town of ramona. Only the outskirts of town were affected, which still included many homes, but it could've been so much worse.
Bill said that he sent his wife out of town and was going to lock up the house and be right behind her. As he went to 7-eleven to fill up his gas tank, he saw the fires on the outskirts of town and they were headed straight for downtown ramona. As they got to the edge of downtown, he said out of no where he saw a gust of wind come and stop the fires in their tracks which enabled the fire fighters to hold it back from the town.
Marshall (one of my karate students) and Ted also lived on the outskirts of town in one of the trailer parks. Ted (Marshall's father) said that the fire came right up to his property and he watched it split in two and go around either side of his home.
Wanda, who lives in the San pasqual valley, just down the hill from ramona, has this amazing story. A few years ago her pine trees, that stood tall on either side of her house, were infested with beetles and she was so frustrated that they were the only trees in the neighborhood that had this problem. So much so that not too long ago, Wanda and her husband had the trees removed. When the fires came, it destroyed her daughter's car (who is on a mission trip for a year in Turkmenistan), came right up to the front door and stopped. As Wanda says, it was the hand of God that held it back and had those two pine trees still been in their yard, their house would've gone up in smoke. It's amazing how even the smallest thing like beetles, which we may see as destructive, still has a purpose in God's plan for us.
Which brings me to this. I am not totally surprised that people are saying "yes, the Lord spared my home and He blessed my house by not destroying it." Well what then do we say to those whose houses He didn't spare? I think people have a hard time seeing that if God's hand was in the sparing, then His hand was in the destruction as well. These fires didn't take Him by surprise. He knew they were going to happen and He either caused them to happen, or purposefully permitted it. It's easy to trust in His Sovereignty when everything is good and going well, but it's easy to forget His Sovereignty when disasters happen. Instead we chalk it up to "Mother Nature" (and who is she really?). God has a purpose and a plan for all that happened. We have to remember that He is Sovereign and everything that happens passes through His hand. It's easier to look at this fire and know that His hand was somehow in it if we have a true understanding that He is good and that He is LOVE. His very nature is love, it is who He is and everything that happens, whether we see it as good or bad (look again at the beetles) is done in a character of goodness and love for each and everyone of us. If we can see His true character and understand who He is, then there is always hope in Him. If we don't have the understanding that His character is love then we see this destruction as cruel and tormenting. But we can rest at night knowing that He is not a cruel God, but He does everything with the purpose of drawing us to Him. He does everything with an attitude of adoration for each one of us. He does everything to build us more and more into His likeness. He does everything for our good, whether we recognize it or not. We can rest knowing that we love a God who first loved us and has our best in mind. He is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love. He is an awesome God!

Allowing the Pain Room to Breathe

2007-07-31T08:54:00.001-07:00

I know, you are all shocked that I'm writing again so soon after my last blog. It's so untypical of me. :)

I don't have much to say though the Lord is constantly reinforcing things in my life. I am amazed at how He's changed me. I am amazed and the security I've found in Him and in who I am in Him. Any sign of hurt or pain in my life meant it would get stuffed and I would try to ignore it. I built up a wall to keep people from hurting me, but really it doesn't work. The hurt still hurts, I just stuffed it below my emotions and tried not to deal with the reality of it.

A while back the Lord taught me to live in reality. It's easy to slip away into a fantasy world of movies, tv, books, whatever it was that kept you from dealing with what seemed to be a grim or boring reality. It was never drugs for me, praise the Lord. It was never alcohol. It was more movies and tv to cover the pain. But the Lord convicted me that I always at some point had to come back to reality, so I might as well stay there and deal with things head on as opposed to putting them off.

It had been a while since I'd been made fun of for my beliefs. Usually i don't take those things too personally, but that morning there had been someone else who had seemed to believe some rumors about me that were untrue and she was allowing it to affect the way she interacted with me and a friend of mine. That had hurt because I thought she knew better than to believe rumors, and I didn't understand why she hadn't talked to me about it to find out the truth. So being made fun of was kind of the last straw it took. I felt my emotions coming to the surface in front of my family and i knew for a short time i had to stuff them until I was in a safe place. However, I kept them stuffed a little too long and my heart was hardened to everything around me, my best friend, her family, my dog, everything. I hadn't felt that in a while. I don't like it. I can literally feel a hardening in my chest. Everything tightens and the emotions shut down. It closes everyone out. I didn't care about anything or anyone because i was so intensely focused on being apathetic. I really needed to allow the emotions to come to the surface and to release them into the hands of a Loving Father. He really does want to take our pain. He really does want to hold us as we cry. He really does want our hearts to remain open to Him and to others.

Finally i allowed my heart to open, the pain to surface, and my emotions to express themselves. I allowed myself to cry and release the hurt. Crying is not for sissys. I don't know who ever came up with that idea but it's a lame one. Crying is a God given gift to release the pain and to allow our hearts to remain plyable and open to others and more importantly to Him. When we stuff our emotions we're saying "I don't trust You with this Lord. I don't trust You to handle my pain. I don't trust that Your way of healing is the best. I'll handle it myself thank You." Guess what.... our way is never better than God's. He puts these things into place for a reason. He wants our best and pushing our emotions down is not our best. If we want to become more like Him and more whole in Him, we will have to deal with them at some point. The avoidance game never works for long. As a second degree black belt in Tang Soo Do, we are taught that you can only block someone a couple times before we have to move in and attack. We have to have the same attitude with pain. We may have to stuff it until it can safely be expressed, but then we need to face it head on. We need to allow God's process for healing to soothe our spirits, allow the pain some breathing room, open our emotions, and heal our hearts.

Totally Committed

2007-07-19T16:24:00.001-07:00

As always it's been way too long since I've updated my blog. Honestly not much has happened, and yet quite a bit. I am in the process of starting my own ministry with Franny and Jeff called Totally Committed. Yep, it sounds familiar doesn't it? Our heart's desire is to see people walk into their true identity in Christ. There are too many Christians walking around in a shame based faith unable to get out from under the burden of their past, or lies that they've believed about themselves, when all along Jesus is calling out to His Beloved to know that we are more than we think we are! We are His and that's really all that matters. He is Totally Committed to us, to our best, and our best is Him! He is 100% for us and for our good, if we would but listen and obey in this love relationship He draws us to. He is passionate about you and longs for you to know Him intimately so that in knowing Him you can know who He created you and called you to be.

Sorry, i could go on and on. I am excited about the start of this ministry and look forward to the opportunities to speak at churches, camps, conferences, and youth groups. My heart longs for the body of Christ to rise up in it's God given authority to walk with an unveiled face so that others might know Him. My heart is passionate to see this happen.

Aside from that I'll be travelling quite a bit in the next year. The Middle East is coming up in November through e3 Partners (check them out at http://www.e3partners.org/). I'm excited about that trip as it will be more discipleship for the believers there. Then in march I'll be going to Central Europe on vacation with my best friend. I am sooooo excited about that one because it'll be just us travelling around getting into trouble. :) Plus it's a part of Europe I've never been to yet! I love new places! Then in July, my family is going to Kauai. I'm excited about that one as it'll be my first time to Hawaii. The whole family is going too so I'll get to spend time with my nephews and niece and sister and brother and brother in law and sister and law, and the folks. :)

I'm not sure which mission trip I'll take next year, but there is also an opportunity to go to Israel in November, but I'm not sure if i'll get to go. i may not have enough vacation time for that. If not I'll take another trip with e3 to another part of the world. I'm excited. I haven't gotten to travel this much in a while.

Anyway, that's all that's up for now. I need to finish up my work. Someday I'll update this on a regular basis. :) Be sure to check out some incredible missionaries that I've set up links to on my site.

Blessings!

A Few Extras

2007-06-22T08:19:00.000-07:00

So I thought of a few more quotes I had to add:

11) Hook

-You're afraid you're going to be sucked out!
-When are you going to stop acting like a child? - I am a child.
-Hello there children! Comfy? Cozy?
-Run Home Jack! Run home Jack!
-Bad Form!
-That's very true
-Lost, lost... I've lost my marbles
-Yeah he lost em good!
-He's a big, fat, grampa man!
-I'm not a bug, i'm a fairy
-Oh there you are Peter!
-You gotta make him BANGARANG!
-So Peter, you've become a pirate?
-Don't try to stop me Smee, don't even try to stop me Smee, don't try to... Smee, get over here and stop me!
-I've just had an apostrophe! Lightning has just struck my brain.

12) Finding Nemo

-Are you my conscience?
-We're looking for his son, Fabio.... See his son Bingo..... We're looking for his son, Chico.
-Good feelings gone
-No eating here tonight... no no no eating here tonight, you're on a diet!
-Fish are friends not food
-Shark Bait oo ba pa do.
-THE RING of FIRE!!!! the ring of fire, the ring of fire, you said you could do it!
-Isn't there another way? He's just a boy!
-Clearly a headstrom file.
-Bubbles bubbles.... my bubbles.
-I have short term memory loss, it runs in my family. at least i think it does. where are they?
-The sea monkey stole my money. Yes I'm a natural blue.
-oooo la mer
-I wish I spoke whale.
-You guys made me ink (co: Jennifer)
-Hey Mr. Grumpy gills
-Alright, Mr. Bossy!
-Hey, hey. Yeah I saw him bluey...
-Mine, mine, mine.
And of course: -you wanna know what you gotta do when life gets you down? i don't wanna know what you gotta do. Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming swimming swimming, what do we do we swim..... la ha ha ha ha ha we love to swwwwwwwwwwwwwwiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiim.

13) Pretty Woman

-These are broken, mine are broken
-Look, there's a band!
-You guys work on commission right? Big mistake. Big! Huge! I'm going shopping!
-Impossible relationships
-Honey, I've got a runner in my pantihose! Oh, i'm not wearing pantihose!

10 Favorite Movies to Quote

2007-06-19T09:58:00.000-07:00

1) The Color Purple:
~"It's gonna rain on yo head!"
~"I think God gets real pissed off if you walk by the color purple and don't notice it."
~" You're jus' a big ol heifer. Ha ha ha!"

2) Some Kind of Wonderful:
~"How many times do i have to listen to myself tell you this? I don't know how many times?"
~"'You can't judge a book by it's cover' 'No but you can tell how much it's gonna cost.'"
~"Well then we're off."
~"Do you have an inferiority complex or something?"

3) Clue
~"'I'm merely a humble butler.' 'What do you do?' 'I buttle, sir.'"
~"Well, someone's got to break the ice, and it might as well be me. I mean, I'm used to being a hostess; it's part of my husband's work, and it's always difficult when a group of new friends meet together for the first time to get acquainted, so I'm perfectly prepared to start the ball rolling . . . I mean, I have absolutely no idea what we're doing here, or what I'm doing here, or what this place is about, but I am determined to enjoy myself and I'm very intrigued and oh, my, this soup's delicious isn't it?"
~"It's you and me honey bunch!"
~"I hated her . . . so . . . much . . .I-It-It--flame--flames . . . on the side of my face . . .breathing . . . breathe--heaving breaths . . .heaving--"
~To make a long story short... - Too late!
~Let us in let us in! -Let us out let us out!

4) The Princess Bride
~"I'm not saying I'd like to build a summer home here but the trees are actually quite lovely."
~"You keep using that word, i do not think it means what you think it means."
~"Have fun stormin the castle!"
~"Mawage is what bwings us togevah today."
~"Anybody want a peanut?"
~"'Get back witch!' 'I'm not a witch I'm your wife!'"
~"Let me 'xplain. No there is too much, let me sum up."
-"This is for posterity, so do be honest. Tell me, how do you feel?"
-"Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line!"
-Iocane! I'd bet my life on it. Unless I'm wrong, and I am never wrong, they're headed straight into the fireswamp!
-Wesley, what about the ROUSes? -Rodents of unusual size? I don't think they exist.

5) The Lord of the Rings
~"Fool of a Tuc! Next time throw yourself in and rid us of your stupidity!"
~"You shall not pass!"
~"I'm not made for long distances! We dwarves are natural sprinters!"
~"You need people of intelligence on this journey... quest... thing. - Well that rules you out Pip!"

6) Steel Magnolias (yes i stole this one from Jennifer, but i'm adding one of my own)
~I would rather have thirty minutes of wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special.
~My colors are blush and bashful.
~Here, punch Ouiser.
~I'm not crazy, M'Lynn, I've just been in a very bad mood for 40 years!
~I don't like her. I don't trust anyone who does their own hair. I don't think it's natural.
~You are evil and you must be destroyed.

7) You've Got Mail
~As far as I'm concerned the internet is just another way to be rejected by a woman.
~Tall! Decaf! Cappucino!
~Once I read a story about a butterfly in the subway, and today I saw one. I couldn't believe it. It got on at 42nd and got off at 59th, where I assume it was going to Bloomindale's to buy a hat that will turn out to be a mistake. As almost all hats are.
~YOU... are a lone reed
~I'm having my eggs harvested.
~The horns, the horns, they sound so forlorn. The horns sound forlorn.
~The Godfather is the I Ching. The Godfather is the sum of all wisdom. The Godfather is the answer to any question. What should I pack for my summer vacation? "Leave the gun, take the cannoli." What day of the week is it? "Maunday, Tuesday, Thursday, Wednesday." And the answer to your question is "Go to the mattresses."

8) When Harry met Sally
~ Baby fish mouth!
~Harry: Waiter, there is too much pepper on my paprikash....But I would be proud to partake of your pecan pie.
-Of course when I asked where she was when Kennedy was shot she said, "Ted Kennedy was shot?"
~I'll have what she's having.
~You made a woman meow?
~He rode 9 extra floors.
~Right that's what I said.
~You're right you're right, i know you're right.
~Honey, I promise, i will never want that wagon wheel coffee table.
~Chicks and ducks and geese better scurry, when i take you out in my surry, when I take you out in my surry with a fringe on top. Now you!

9) It's a Wonderful Life
~Mary, where's Mary?
~Merry Christmas you old movie house!
~Zuzu's petals!
~Every time a bell rings an angel gets his wings.

10) Fried Green Tomatoes (with a shout out to Jessica Tandy in Drivin Miss Daisy)
-I gotsa go make watah (DMD)
-Secret's in the sauce
-Towanda!
-Remeber when counselors used to tell you to wrap yourself in cellophane?
-You a politician or does lying just run in your family?

We've Bought the Lie06/12/2007

2007-06-12T10:39:00.000-07:00

Sadly the following is a correct commentary on Christians today. This is from John Eldridge's Waking the Dead:

After his resurrection, Jesus sends us all out to do what he did: "As the Father has sent me, so I send you" (John 20:21 NRSV). And he gives us his authority to do it: "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go" (Matt. 28:18–19). Why else would he have given us his authority if we weren't supposed to use it? The attitude of so many Christians today is anything but fierce. We're passive, acquiescent. We're acting as if the battle is over, as if the wolf and the lamb are now fast friends. Good grief—we're beating swords into plowshares as the armies of the Evil One descend upon us. We've bought the lie of the Religious Spirit, which says, "You don't need to fight the Enemy. Let Jesus do that." It's nonsense. It's unbiblical. It's like a private in Vietnam saying, "My commander will do all the fighting for me; I don't even need to fire my weapon." We are commanded to "resist the devil, and he will flee from you" (James 4:7). We are told, "Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him" (1 Peter 5:8–9); "Fight the good fight" (1 Tim. 1:18); "Rescue those being led away to death" (Prov. 24:11). Seriously, just this morning a man said to me, "We don't need to fight the Enemy. Jesus has won." Yes, Jesus has won the victory over Satan and his kingdom. However, the battle is not over. Look at 1 Corinthians 15:24–25: "Then the end will come, when he [Jesus] hands over the kingdom to God the Father after he has destroyed all dominion, authority and power. For he must reign until he has put all his enemies under his feet." After he has destroyed the rest of the Enemy's works. Until then, he must reign by bringing his enemies under his feet. Jesus is still at war, and he calls us to join him. ( Waking the Dead , 167–68)

Are you spiritually blind to the battle that rages around you? Are you aware of the enemy's schemes to steal, kill, and destroy you? He is out working against you at this very moment and he hates you with all he is. He will do whatever he can to destroy your lives and your witness to others about the goodness of the Lord. Don't let him creep in. He'll come in a backdoor when you lease suspect it and blindside you. He doesn't care the damage it causes you. He has no compassion for your pain, he will use it against you however he can. Be aware. We are indeed in a battle. Wake up. Arise o Sleeper! Stand in the authority Christ has given you and defeat the enemy's attacks against you. You are in a battle. It rages around you and against you and yet you sleep. Wake up! Arise O Sleeper! ARISE!

Xanadu?

2007-06-07T08:32:00.001-07:00

So I apologize for not adding a new blog in the past... oh almost two months. Today I will tell you about a wonderful new addition to my family... Xanadu Macon Edge. Okay, yes I'm kidding. It was a funny joke that my brother played on everyone to get their reaction to his new daughter's name. Me, I said "I hope you're kidding" and pushed for Phoebe or Kyra. Others just nodded with a "that's nice" and went along for the ride. Her real name, however, is Phoebe Skye Edge. She was born on May 10th and weighed 7 pounds 8 ounces. She's a cutie too. One of my brother's friends said she looked like me. :) Here's a pic I took of her at 3 days old on her grandpa's shoulder.

Here's one of her at home :)

God of the Impossible

2007-04-19T12:14:00.000-07:00

I have been meditating for a month now on two Scriptures. I can't seem to get past them, which I'm completely okay with. They say this, "'Have faith in God,' Jesus answered. 'I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain 'Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours." (Mark 11:22-24) and Luke 18:27 "Jesus replied, 'What is impossible with men is possible with God.'" It would be so easy to take that first Scripture and adopt a "name it and claim it" philosophy of prayer, but that's not what it's about. It's about having faith in God- which most people seem to skip over when looking at that Scripture. Believe that you have received it and it will be yours- not just because you want it so badly, but because we have faith in a God who can do the impossible. I realized a while ago that I haven't had much faith. My dog, whom i love :), was limping from an old injury that he had before i got him. Well I prayed and asked God to heal him and then i watched and waited for him to limp again. What kind of faith is that? It isn't really. God brought this to my attention so I confessed my lack of faith and i began praying "God I believe, help my unbelief!" My dog hasn't limped since. He increased my faith in Him to do the impossible.
It's not just belief in what we say will happen, because we say it will happen. It's belief in what we say will happen because we have a God of the impossible; we have faith in Him, not ourselves and our ability to wish things into existence.

Yesterday as i was praying for a friend's wife who has been diagnosed with cancer, i realized how scary it can be to hope in our God who can do the impossible. There are so many questions- what if He doesn't heal her in the physical realm? What if it's her time to go? What if what if what if? Yet it's so important to have faith in Him no matter what our circumstances- to have faith in Him, because He is the God of the impossible. It is a scary thing to place our trust in Him, to fully believe in our heart that He will do the impossible for us because we're afraid of the let down. So typically what we do is allow a spot in our heart to doubt just in case, so we won't be totally unprepared for the worst, we won't be totally disappointed should He choose not to answer our requests. But what kind of faith is that in a God of the impossible? Do we not trust His character, His timing, His faithfulness, His desire for our good because maybe He hasn't answered prayers the way we wanted Him to? Do we qualify our prayers with doubt in His power and ability to do the impossible?

Time and time again over the past month or so He has presented me with impossible situations- situations that only He can be the answer to. He has shown me over and over His faithfulness, His power, His loving character. He has shown me that He can heal. He has shown me that He can change the hearts of man. He has shown me we can place our full faith in Him. He has shown me that there is no need for doubt. He has shown Himself to be the God of the impossible.

Curses into Blessing

2007-04-02T14:30:00.000-07:00

A while back I had the heartfelt desire to read through the Old Testament. Yes, even those crazy books of Laws, laws and more laws. There are some true treasures in those books that I am so glad I read. However, the one for today comes from Genesis 9 and Deuteronomy 8. In Genesis 9, Noah and his children have survived the flood and Noah has made himself a little drink. I'm sure after being on a boat with all kinds of animals for 40 days, he was a little weary. So he drinks... a little too much and winds up naked in his tent. His son, Ham, comes and sees him naked and goes to tell his brothers. His brothers, being older and wiser, carry a blanket over their shoulders and walk in backwards in order not to see their father's nakedness. When Noah awakes and finds out that Ham saw him, he curses.... no, not Ham, but Ham's son, Canaan. He is to be the lowest of his family and his descendents will serve the descendents of Shem and Japheth. He is cursed. His descendents are cursed. They become the Canannites who live in the land of Canaan.
Later on, along comes a man named Moses. Moses leads the Israelites out of slavery and away from Egypt. The Lord is leading them to the promised land; the land flowing with milk and honey. The land in Deuteronomy 8 is described this way "For the Lord your God is bringing you into a good land of flowing streams and pools of water, with fountains and springs that gush out in the valleys and hills. 8 It is a land of wheat and barley; of grapevines, fig trees, and pomegranates; of olive oil and honey. 9 It is a land where food is plentiful and nothing is lacking. It is a land where iron is as common as stone, and copper is abundant in the hills. 10 When you have eaten your fill, be sure to praise the Lord your God for the good land he has given you." And who has been inhabiting this land? What is this land called? Not just the promised land, but the land of Canaan. It's the land of the Canaanites. They have cultivated this land and it has been a land of blessing. Here is a man who was cursed by Noah, his descendants were cursed and yet they were living in the land of blessing.
At first i thought, "Why Lord would You do that? Why would you turn that which is cursed into that which is blessed?" And that's as far as I needed to go. I was once cursed, but now I'm blessed. I was a land that was deserted and unfertile, but now my land is called "married" and the Lord calls me "My delight is in her." (Isaiah 62) The Lord is in the business of turning curses into blessings, of turning beauty into ashes, of turning mourning into dancing, of turning bad situations into good. But it doesn't stop there.
Not only is the land of the Canaanites blessed, but the blessing is used for the purposes of God. If you notice, the Canaanites were driven out of the land and the blessings of their land were used for the people of God. So not only has God turned my life from cursed to blessed, but He will use the blessings He's given to me and put in me for His purposes and His people. He will use them to advance His Kingdom and He will do the same with you! You have been taken up out of the pit of hell. Your life was cursed and through the saving grace of Jesus Christ, YOU ARE BLESSED!!!! He has turned you around and will use the blessing of your life for His purposes!!! He has a purpose for you!!! You will impact His Kingdom!!! Praise be to God!

It Is Time

2007-03-17T14:40:00.000-07:00

The past month or so there has been a stirring in my spirit, a restlessness, an anxiousness. I have seen it as boredom with the routine of daily living: waking up, walking my dog, going to work, sitting at a desk for 8 hours, going to karate, coming home and sleeping. I want to do something significant. I want to feel like I am making an impact on the Kingdom of God. While I truly believe my job to be important to the financial security of our ministry which heavily impacts the Kingdom of God, it is very easy to disconnect what I do with the masses who are accepting Christ as our missionaries go into all the world and I stay home. I've had a stirring in my spirit to do SOMETHING. I know God has called me to a purpose. I know He has taught me so much about my identity and authority in Him in the last year. I know He has put the passion and desire in my heart to share my testimony with many and to express to them the passion that Christ has for them. My favorite time of the week is on Sunday morning when the Lord gives me a Word for our congregation and I get to speak it for all of 5 or 10 minutes. I love to speak into their lives and to let His Word settle in their spirits. I love to see their lives transformed by Him and by more and more of an understanding of who they are in Him. However, that's only 5 or 10 minutes a week or every other week. I know I am meant to do more than I am doing.

Last monday I was so fed up with the routine that I took the day off work, slept a little extra, prayed, and then sat myself in a coffee shop for several hours to finish my book (almost done). It was refreshing. It was a huge step in the right direction for where God is calling me. I don't know where He's going to take me (but Tracy, if you ever need an extra speaker for a women's conference or anything.... :) ) and sometimes I wonder if my testimony is really relevant to the people of the Church today. I think it is in more ways than i realize. I think once I develop my message of not only my testimony, but of learning our true identity in Christ, it will be powerful for the body of Christ. I can feel it burning in my spirit, this desire, this passion to see women and men alike come to know with all certainty that they belong to a mighty God, that they are His beloved, that they are His beautiful bride, that He passionately pursues them and loves them with an everlasting love. I want Christians everywhere to know they serve and awesome God and that they can walk without shame because He takes away all condemnation. We can walk with our heads held high and our eyes looking into the face of the most adoring love in Jesus. We are His beloved. He fawns over us. He adores us. He wants so much more for us and usually we end up settling for less than His best because we're afraid to step out in faith. He is our everything and we are the apple of His eye. He lavishes His passionate love upon us. If we could only grasp hold of this truth deep within the core of our being. If we can put aside those feelings that tell us otherwise, those old tapes that play in our head from past people who told us we were less than, and CHOOSE to listen to the voice of Truth of God's Word about who we are, oh what a force the Christian community would be. The only thing that holds us back is ourselves, our lack of determination, our desire for things of this world, our lack of understanding that this life is not about us and what we want if it doesn't line up to His will. He is our Lord and we are not the author of our lives.

Today I checked my email and received this from a war drummer friend who is on a prayer team for me. Her writing is a little difficult to follow, but you'll get the picture. It is time for us to hold on to Jesus and let Him take us where He desires. It is time for us to become a part of the army instead of waiting for the enemy to trample us. It is time:

"this is war drummer cooing to you all, i felt this word from the lord, jesus christ and the son and the holy spirit, there is war coming to each of you even now, way crys women in travail and giving birth for the baby to come forth, we need to stay so close to jesus no more running here and there, in the visoion i an getting the lord is showing me so many of you are in fear and scared, and not sure what the next step will be. many want out of this life. the darkenss is stronger than ever before us. we need to stay so close as a family stay close to one another. cry out cry out,,,, cry out for your loved one the time is at hand no man know were he well sell and buy, the lord show me, the time is at hand....

we need to watch out for what is at hand, the time the clock is ticking ticking ticking,,,, the voices of the dark are getting louder and louder, sccreaming voice i see in you minds and mindset, with in you, father father father we cry out jesus jesus jesus we take cover under your wings, cover us father would you not spare one, or two, father we cry out we repent, we turn from our wicked ways, forgive us jesu father and the son and the holy spirt.....

father we cry out we surrened all to you, have you way it us,,,, judement has cover the earth, and within the house of the lord,,,, time is runnig so fast right before you and i arise arise arise jesus would say to you and i time is at hand,,, it is time to rise up and take you stand in the amry of the lord......

he will give you his battle plan,,,, stay alert and stay awake, fear not for i go with you say jesus, I am that i am who am i am your life who will you choose this day,,,,,,jesus our the world, this day who you will serve say the king jesus i am that i am....."

10 Things I Want To Do

2007-03-08T09:32:00.000-08:00

Ok, I've been tagged by Franny to do this. These are 10 things I would love to do or learn to do.

1. Sign Language
2. Speak French and Spanish fluently
3. Play electric guitar really well
4. Play drums really well
5. Go to Scotland
6. Go back to Africa
7. Finish my book
8. Finish the cross stitch I'm working on
9. Get my book published
10. Share my heart and passion for knowing who we are in Christ with women all over the country/world.

Tracy, if you read this- tag you're it :)

His Words

2007-02-23T10:20:00.000-08:00

When I went to our staff conference in Dallas last month, my friend, Kelly, gave me a journal and a jar of Scriptures. This is really cool because every night before I fall asleep I pull out a Scripture and meditate on it as I'm falling asleep in the arms of Jesus. The first night i had it, I pulled out a Scripture and read it and it nourished me so much that I wanted to pull them all out and read them all. So typically i end up pulling out four or five to feast upon. One of the first few I pulled out though was from Philippians 3:10- "I want to know Christ and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in His suffering, becoming like Him in His death." (wow, that's the first Scripture I've memorized in a while... sad.) So I began to meditate upon what it meant to become like Him in His death. Jesus who knew no sin became sin for us so that we might become the righteousness of God in Him. He became sin and sin was nailed to the cross. Sin died so that righteousness could live. We need to put our sin to death so that righteousness can live through us. Then I began to meditate on what the power of His resurrection was. I know that everyone says that the power that raised Christ from the dead also lives in us, but what exactly does that mean? What is the power of His resurrection? This is when God started speaking to me through these Scriptures and it was really sweet. The next morning after meditating on these Scriptures i pulled out another Scripture which said this "Praise be to God the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade—kept in heaven for you." What an amazing promise through the resurrection. The power of the resurrection is what has given us new life and a living hope. Without His resurrection, we would have no hope. Because of His resurrection, we have an inheritance that will never fade and it's kept in heaven just for me. I want to walk in that new life that He gives us. I don't want to ever take it for granted. I want to walk passionately in that new life and not just let my life go on as if I haven't been changed. He has given me new life and a hope of things to come, no matter what my circumstances, I have a living hope.
God has been speaking to me directly more and more through His Word. I don't mean just reading a Scripture and saying, Oh that's really good, i should apply that to my life. I mean, He's been answering me with His Word. The other day i was about to pull out a Scripture out of my jar and i said, i think outloud, "What does the Lord say today?" The Scripture I pulled out started out saying "The Lord says,...." I loved the way He answered me. The other night, i felt so anxious and worked up. I was on my knees in the shower, just trying to get peace in Him. I felt like I hadn't had time to myself and I was just wanting to get away with Him. As I went to bed, I pulled out a stack of Scriptures hoping to search through them to find something that would give me peace. Of course the first two that i looked at were "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30 and Psalm 23:2 "He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters" It was exactly what I needed at the time.
God's Word is not just a good guide for us in our lives. It is that, but it is so much more. It is living and active, sharper than any two edged sword. His Word is able to discern our hearts and thoughts. His Word provides the answers for our heart and soul. His Word is a way that He speaks directly to us, that He communicates with us. It is His good gift to us, His heart and wisdom opened to us to draw us deeper into Him.

10 Favorite Places to Visit in My Hometown

2007-02-14T13:16:00.000-08:00

Jennifer tagged me to do this so here it is. I'm counting San Diego county as my home town since really in Ramona- not much to do or go to. These really are in no particular order:

1. The Wild Animal Park

2. Balboa Park museums

3. My backyard- especially when the sun is rising.

4. The beach when the sun is setting

5. Franny's house

6. The seals in La Jolla Cove with the sea donuts.

7. Petco Park to watch the Padres.

8. Qualcomm Stadium to watch the Chargers play even though i never get to go.

9. The World Famous San Diego Zoo- to see the Pandas.10. To see my nephews Z and C.

10 Movies that Make me Cry

2007-02-06T15:41:00.000-08:00

Jennifer tagged me to do this. Is this 10 movies that still make me cry, or that made me cry the first time I saw them. If it's movies that still make me cry, there wouldn't be a list really. So here's the 10 movies that made me cry the first time i saw them.

10. Million Dollar Baby (poor baby)
9. Beaches (Oh Industry... whatever has become of me..)
8. Losing Isaiah (who wouldn't cry at a kid being tossed between adoptive mom and drug addict mom?)
7. Life is Beautiful... i got teary principessa.
6. I am Sam
5. Any movie where an animal dies.
4. A Perfect World- Kevin Costner doesn't usually do much for me but what a great movie.
3. Remember the Titans- when Bertier was in the car crash.
2. The Color Purple- still one of my all time favorite movies ever.
1. Dead Poet's Society- The first one I thought of that I absolutely bawled at when I saw it.

I'm tagging Franny

How Great is our God

2007-01-25T15:48:00.000-08:00

So two weeks ago my mom had a colonoscopy and an endoscopy. The result was a biopsy of one of many polyps in her stomach. It came back as having cancer cells in it. The doctor was so surprised to find it, he sent the test to UCLA and they found the same thing. Monday of this week, mom went and had another endoscopy in order to biopsy the rest of they polyps as well as test some of the lining of her stomach to see if the cancer had spread. Last night when I got home, my mom sat me down and said she had talked to the doctor. I had asked many people to pray and truly believed the tests would come back negative. I knew our God was capable and able to glorify Himself through this so I was expecting good news, but there was still the stress of waiting til the good news came. When she sat me down she looked very serious and said, "The tests showed no cancer in any of areas that were tested." I quite literally threw up my hands, shouted "yay!!!!" and started bawling because I was so happy.
She does have a stomach infection and they may have to do more tests to make sure there isn't any cancer at all anywhere, but still... great news from our God! She even attributed it to a miracle of God. She said our prayers were answered and was very relieved. Thank you all for praying. God is awesome! The thing is, though, that God is awesome even if the test results had come back with her stomach being cancer ridden. God is awesome no matter what our circumstance or what pain we endure. He is awesome and worthy of praise and thanksgiving. Tuesday night, the night before she got the test results back I pulled this Scripture out of a little jar that I have that is filled with Scriptures. After I read it I gave it to my mom to read and ponder. It says this; "Ah, Sovereign Lord, You have made the heavens and the earth by Your great power and outstretched arm. Nothing is too hard for You." -Jeremiah 32:17

5 Things

2007-01-24T09:45:00.000-08:00

I was tagged by Tracy to tell people 5 things that no one knows about me. Well, i don't think there are 5 things that no one knows about me. But here's a list of things that maybe only a few people know about me. Sorry it took me so long- i was in Dallas all last week.

1. I rode a camel in the Sahara desert when I went to Tunisia for a long weekend.
2. My husband- who ever he may be- will be the first man I will have ever slept with.
3. I'm writing a book about my testimony
4. I was just playing the online Deal or No Deal game instead of doing my work.
5. I had my baby blanket and pillow until my friend Liz's dog chewed them up in high school.

I AM

2007-01-11T14:22:00.001-08:00

I am blessed with all spiritual blessings in heavenly places in Christ (Eph 1:3)
I am chosen by my Father (Eph 1:4)
I am holy and without blame (Eph 1:4)
I am God's child according to the good pleasure of His will (Eph 1:5)
I am accepted in the Beloved (Eph 1:6)
I am redeemed through the blood of Jesus (Eph 1:7)
I am a person of wisdom and prudence (Eph 1:8)
I am an heir and co-heirs with Christ (Eph 1:11)
I have a spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Christ (Eph 1:17)
I am saved by God's grace (Eph 2:5)
I am seated in heavenly places in Christ Jesus (Eph 2:6)
I am God's workmanship (Eph 2:10)
I am near to the Father by the blood of Christ (Eph 2:13)
I am a new creation (Eph 2:15)
I am of His household (Eph 2:19)
I am a citizen of heaven! (Eph 2:19)
I am a partaker of the Father's promises in Christ (2 Peter 1:4)
I am strengthened with might by His Spirit (Eph 3:16)
I am rooted and grounded in love (Eph 3:17)
I am renewed in the spirit of my mind (Eph 4:23)
I am light in Him (Eph 5:8)
I am more than a conqueror (Rom 8:37)
I am an over comer! (Rev 12:11)
I am the righteousness of God in Jesus Christ! (1Cor 1:30)
I am healed! (1 Peter 2:24)
I am free! (John 8:36)
I am consecrated (1 Cor 6:11)
I am sanctified (1 Cor 6:11)
I am victorious (1 John 5:4)
I can approach the throne of grace with CONFIDENCE (Heb 4:16)
I will no longer be called desolate but I will be called, "My delight is in her,"
I am a crown of beauty in the hand of the Lord (Isa. 62:3)
God rejoices over me the way a bridegroom rejoiecs over his bride (Isa 62:5)
The Lord exalts and rejoices over me with joy (Zeph 3:17)
I have a spirit of power, love and discipline (2 Tim 1:7)
My Father will never leave me nor forsake me (Josh 1:5)
I am precious in the Father's sight (Isa 43:4)
I am honored and the Father loves me! (Isa 43:4)
Instead of shame, I will receive a double portion (Isa 61:7)
Instead of humiliation I will shout for joy over my portion (Isa 61:7)
Everlasting joy will be mine! (Isa 61:7)
I am His lily among the thorns (Song of Solomon 2:2)

It Doesn't Get Much More Beautiful Than This!

2007-01-08T10:50:00.000-08:00

The other day I woke up reluctantly thinking my dog had to go outside. He was still asleep on his bed and didn't seem in a hurry but I knew I should take him out anyway. He had hurt his paw so I wasn't going to take him for a walk, but usually he wakes me up by 6:15 or so. This day he was running late, as it was 6:30 so I decided to get up and take him out anyway. Little did I know that it was the Lord getting me up out of bed. He had a surprise for me, something so glorious and so beautiful that He wanted to share with me. He had put some of His beauty into the morning and wanted me to experience it. As I walked outside, I saw His surprise and stood in awe of Him. This is what I walked outside to see.

The only thing I can imagine being more beautiful will be that first step into heaven. God is so awesome and amazing to share with us the beauty of His creation. I am constantly in awe of who He is and the fact that He wants to lavish us with gifts such as this. I woke up my mother and my best friend to make sure they didn't miss this moment as well. It was incredible.

THR3E

2007-01-03T09:15:00.000-08:00

In case you haven't heard already, Ted Dekker's book, Thr3e is being made into a movie and it comes out this weekend, January 5. GO SEE IT! I can't promise that it's not a cheesy Christian made film, but I hope it's not. It's one of his best books, so if you don't like the movie, read the book. It's a suspense thriller type, not a happy go lucky, little house on the prairie type. Enjoy it and I pray that they made it well. Go support Ted Dekker and a Christian based film. Have fun!

http://www.familychristian.com/movies/

It's a New Season... It's an Amazing Race!

2007-01-02T14:08:00.000-08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!! I hope everyone had a wonderful 2006. I'm so thankful for my family that God has put me back in touch with them and strengthened my relationship with them. I'm so thankful for my dog, Riley, who just today ripped one of his toenails most of the way off. :( Poor puppy. I'm thankful for my job and the provision God has given me. I thankful for my bestfriend who strengthened my all last year. I'm so looking forward to this new year and all that God has planned.
Yesterday, Franny and I shot our video to apply for the Amazing Race. I'm so excited. If nothing else it was hilarious to film. It would be so cool to get on and do it. However, it would be nerve wracking. I'd want to be as Christ like to everyone as possible.

Dan Watson started editing it for us last night. He is our wonderful editor who is legally blind- makes for fun times! But he is so gracious to help us out and to do this for us. It'll be fun to see it all come together! Good times!

San Diego Who?

2007-01-02T09:29:00.000-08:00

Ok, so over the past few years the Chargers have been getting better and better. But this year, not only do they have the best record in the AFC, but the Chicago loss on Sunday gave them the best record in the NFL! GO CHARGERS!!! They have been breaking franchise records left and right, and LT finally won the rushing title! I can't wait to see them in the playoffs! I'm praying that they keep playing as hard and as well as they have and they make it to the Superbowl! That would be great! GO CHARGERS!

Pretty

2006-12-19T09:29:00.000-08:00

One of Jennifer's friends said I was pretty :). That made me feel good.

I have come to realize within this last year that the enemy has a special attack on women. He wants to masculinize us and he wants to crush our self esteem. Low self esteem is not humility. Low self esteem is actually a form of pride. "No no, i'm not worth it." Really? Cause that makes you the only person on this earth not worth it- a little arrogant don't you think? Humility is agreeing with God about who you are and having the confidence in Him to trust Him at His Word. He says you are beautiful. He says you are His beloved. He calls you His own. He says you are the crown of beauty. He says you are called "My delight is in you." He dances over you with joy and sings over you with shouts of love. He takes you to His banqueting table so everyone will know how much He loves you! He pursues you with an everlasting, passionate love and He is ravished at the very thought of you. You are beautiful with His beauty. To disagree with this is to call Him a liar. Is He man that He should lie? By no means! YOU ARE HIS CROWN OF BEAUTY! Get that into your head and you heart! You say well it's not that easy? No, you're right. It takes a choice. You have to choose to believe Him and believe His word and that means you have to fight fight fight to ignore all of the thoughts that contradict what He says about you. You can't give in to self pity and manipulation. You must fight to stand up in who you are in Him. It's not called a battle for nothing. But you can prevail through the strength that Christ gives you. You can prevail and you can stand strong in the love that Christ has for you. It doesn't matter what your mom or dad said or your husband. It doesn't matter what those mean boys in elementary school said about you. The abuse that you suffered doesn't change who you are in Christ. You are still His beloved and always will be. Just reach out and receive it. Believe it. Take Him at His word! He is worth it and so are you!

Toto, I Don't Think I'm in Ramona Anymore....

2006-12-19T09:22:00.000-08:00

2006-12-07T16:46:00.000-08:00

YAY CARIDEE!

Christmas Tea

2006-12-07T16:20:00.000-08:00

WOO HOO!!! We had a women's Christmas Tea... which really was a shower for Stephanie, but it was so fun. We got all dressed up and Franny and I got silly dresses at the thrift shop and wore our "pearls" which were mardi gras beads. I still think she should've worn the Carona one- now that would've been funny! We had so much fun. We went to the Rancho Bernardo Inn, where i guess they serve high tea every Wednesday. We had tea and finger sandwiches, and fruit and little tasty desserts. Franny made sure we got something chocolatey. That was wonderful. Thanks Franny! Here are some pictures... yes that's a plant decoration in my hair.

We're #1

2006-12-04T09:05:00.000-08:00

So how about them Chargers? Pretty impressive so far. Tied with the Bears and the Colts for the best record in all of football! Of course they do have two tough games coming up, but we're hoping they'll pull em out. I think they'll win one of them, but i don't know about both. Superbowl here we come (well I can hope at least :) ).

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

2006-11-21T09:32:00.000-08:00

Bad Metaphors from Stupid Student Essays
(actually these are mostly similes, see Literary Terms)

Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two other sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to dangle from screen doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door open again.

The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

McMurphy fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.

Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.

Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.

The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

And in this corner... weighing 45 pounds....

2006-11-20T11:42:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I brought Riley home on Friday and the first meeting with the cat didn't go so well. I was holding Dash and Franny had Riley and Dash freaked out. He'd never seen a dog before. The holes he left in my hand are healing nicely. Riley was ok, though. He just wanted to check out the cat and see what he was all about. But Dash would have none of it. He hid under my parents' bed for a while. I finally got him out and their second meeting was better because i was basically laying on Dash to keep him from running. It's amazing he didn't get crushed. Little by little they eyed each other and had several staring contests

(Dash staring intently)

(What Dash is staring at)

and eventually they were in the same room together and doing ok, but keeping an eye on each other. You can actually see how close they got in this picture. The black part of the bottom of the picture is Riley's behind.

However on Saturday morning, they didn't do so well. They started out just checking each other out and then as far as I could tell it was unprovoked, but Riley snatched Dash up into his mouth, but Dash turned and clawed Riley with his back legs and got away. He then hid under the bed for several hours. Last night they were able once again to co exist in the same room, but Riley would not take his eyes off of Dash.

(shortly before the attack)

We don't need no stinkin pictures.....

2006-11-20T09:17:00.000-08:00

So, i have to say I'm totally jealous. My friend Jennifer has a blog that like everyone and their brother reads (check it out here: http://jennycoomer.blogspot.com) and she's always putting pictures of presents and gifts she gets on her blog. She just put a picture of some cool birthday presents that her cousin Eric gave her and a care package she got for her surgery. Did she put my birthday presents on her blog? Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo...

But... it's ok... I'll live. (sigh*) I know she still likes them- at least I pray she did. I enjoyed giving them to her and she seemed to like them, so that's all that matters. :)

2006-11-17T14:31:00.000-08:00

It's truly amazing how God puts people together. I am still amazed that God put a best friend in my life like Franny, and yet He did. He truly blessed me in her and I am so honored to know her. She really pursues God and does her best to please Him in all she does. She's not perfect by any means, but she's pretty darn wonderful! But not only do i have her as a great friend, but then He goes and puts us together with Kelly and Michelle. They are our counterparts in our Plano, TX office, and they rock. They are so much like Franny and I, it's crazy. They make me laugh and smile and I look forward to the times that we chat even if it's only for a moment in between reports. I'd post a picture of them on here, but I've never seen one. They refuse to send one to us. Instead I'll figure out how to put pictures on here and put one of Franny and I. Then when I meet Kelly in Michelle in January I'll take a picture of them while they're sleeping.... mwah ahhahaha.