How Can I Not Be Thankful

There is so much to be thankful for in this season and it's easy to get so caught up in the presents, the gift giving the wrapping paper, the family coming, the traditions, the exclusivity of spending your holidays with only the people you want to spend them with. I'm all for all of that stuff. But there are a few things I am compelled to keep in mind this season which keep me humble and truly thankful.

First is that there are many men and women living on the streets who have no one to share Christmas with. We are blessed to be in our homes with our families with our food and warmth, but don't forget about those who are less fortunate than we are. Don't forget the poor and oppressed. What was one of Daniel's warning to Nebuchadnezzar before he fell into humility? "Show mercy to the poor." Let's not be so exclusive that we forget to show mercy to the poor- whether it be the financially poor, or the emotionally poor. Some people just don't have family nearby and can't make it home to be with them for Christmas. Let's include them in our celebrations.

Second is our military that are serving overseas who are spending Christmas in combat, away from their families. Thank you to each and every one of you who are serving and thank you to each of your families who miss them desperately this Christmas. We are praying for you and are thankful for the freedoms you provide.

Lastly how can I not be grateful for the greatest gift ever given; the reason we celebrate Christmas in the first place. No it's not the gift giving and getting, it's not the trees, it's not the food, or Santa. It's Jesus. Thank you God for sending your Son, Jesus Christ, who condescended to us- left His place in heaven to take on the form of a man so that He would be able to understand us and relate to us and we would have an example to follow. He was a man born to die and was the greatest gift this entire world has ever seen because He was given for this entire world- no one group of people more than another. He was given for us all and we can all received Him. Thank You Father for your Son, for allowing this world to see Him for 33 years- 33 years that forever changed the course of history. That forever changed my life. Thank You!

I Can't Imagine Being Anywhere Else

It wasn't like I hadn't heard those words before, it was the fact of where I was sitting when I heard them. It wasn't just that I was in a dining hall, but it was where this dining hall was located.

My best friend, Franny, and I had finished singing some Christmas caroles for the Christmas program and I sat across from Hailey whom I had just met. She wore the same orange top and pants, and state issued workboots that every other person in the dining hall wore. The words CDCR PRISONER stamped across the back and down the legs of the outfit made it clear that she belonged to the state. Her crime was unknown to me, but her sweet spirit made me not care what it was. It could have been the most heinous of crimes, but it was clear her life was different. There was peace and love in her eyes.

"How much longer are you here?" I asked her.
"Til July. I get out in July and then I'll go stay with my sister in San Bernadino." We talked a little bit about her family, her mother who had passed away, her father who she never really had a relationship with, her sister who never wrote. But it was all "ok" to her.
"What do you miss the most?" I wondered.
"I miss the simple things, like walking on the beach. That's what I want to do when I get out. I don't really have much of plan because I want Jesus to tell me what to do. I want to follow His plan for me and His will. I want to go where He tells me to go and do what He tells me to do."
"That's a great plan." I said.
"This is really a beautiful place here, you know. I can't imagine what I'd be doing if I weren't here. I honestly can't imagine being anywhere else because this is exactly where God wants me right now."
"That is an amazing attitude to have." One that we could all learn from, especially me. Here, a prisoner of the state up at the Rainbow conservation camp can't imagine being anywhere else. Some would say- that's a good thing because she doesn't have a choice. True, but she has a choice about her attitude, as do we. She could fight it, she could pout, or whine, or rebel but instead she sees it as the hand of the Lord and that this is where He has her for now. In His sovereignty, He has her right where He wants her and she is content to be there-submitting herself to His will.
Hailey, you above most people I know, myself included, understand the true meaning of Freedom. I have been blessed to meet you even if only for a few moments and trust that it was a divine appointment set up by a Sovereign Lord.

You are Never Out of My Sight

I won't tell you the whole story but needless to say I was coming out of, or trying to come out of Amboseli National Park on the border of Tanzania and Kenya. Pretty much all you could see was dirt in most directions although if you looked far enough Mt. Kilamanjaro was in the distance. There was a group of us on this trip and a few of us had thoroughly enjoyed ourselves watching the wildlife and seeing the Lord's creation- the elephants, zebras, ostrichs, giraffes- all completely wild and roaming free. Some in the van were less than thrilled with the driver and his "shortcuts" through the desert and were a bit uptight. We'd already been through one flat tire and a two hour ride that turned into four just to get there so yes, some were a bit on edge. But the Lord had given me the gift of Faith that day and I knew that I knew that He knew where we were, that He knew what we needed. And even in the middle of no where, He saw us. Even in the middle of the desert, He saw and He would provide, and He did just that. After we got stuck in the sand and to all get out so the men could push the van out of the sand (which took a good twenty minutes), the tensions were high with most. But as we got going and drove along again towards the main road, there on it's own standing no more than 10 feet from our van was the most beautiful giraffe. It mesmerized the van and brought peace to tense hearts. It was the Lord's way of letting everyone know that He had us- He knew where we were and knew what we needed and wouldn't let anything happen to us that was out of His hands.
So the giraffe has always had this significance to me. I have a couple of them sitting on my night stand and got one while I was in Uganda. But for whatever reason this one seemed more significant to me and I don't know exactly why. Maybe it was just the timing. It came at the end of what honestly seemed to be one of the worst weeks in the past year and a half; a week where the stress was piled on, I fought with friends and family; unkind words were spoken; hurtful things had been done and said, and it was just a terrible week. So yes, I think it was tht timing. At our care group we did a gift exchange and this was the first gift that was opened. I happened to be the last person to either pick a gift to open or steal a gift and this is what I stole because it just seemed like the Lord was saying "This is for you. I still see you no matter where you are, no matter what's happened. I know where you are and what you need and will provide it. And I love you."

The Times they Are a Changin...

Some of you know, many of you may not, that for the past year and a half at least I've been in a very dark season of life. I've called it a dark night. I don't know if it's been a true "dark night" in the John of the Cross sense of the term or not. The Lord has seemed very far away indeed, but I've experienced an emptiness that others who have been through a dark night have not. Yet I've heard the Lord when others in a dark night have not, but there's been no Holy Spirit connection, confirmation, or "resonating" in those times of hearing the Lord. It's been almost like talking to a stranger. There have been times when I thought I'd lose my mind, and times when I thought I'd walk away from it all. It's been a difficult road with few- maybe only one- who truly understood- some with good intentions but attempts that fell short to "get it", give advice that didn't apply, or cast looks like I was losing it.

But it seems to me that the times they are a changin... Whether or not the "dark night" is ending I don't fully know. It may be coming to a close, but that close could last 6 more months. But closing it could very well be. Some healing has begun. Some trusting is taking place. I have started opening my heart again to the Lord where I hadn't even realized I had closed it to Him. My sister, whom I love dearly, has said before that sometimes we just need to get over the past. Well there's truth to that in part, but really we need to let the Lord heal the past. It's not just a matter of getting over it, we need to allow the Lord to heal it. We need to let Him touch those wounds and bring healing to the places that still hurt because they still affect us and the way we respond and react to people today- whether we realize it or not. I thought I had forgiven someone and released a hurt of the past but little did I know it was still there keeping me from trusting again, and keeping me from trusting the Lord with the people He brought into my life. And I needed to forgive myself and receive His forgiveness for my past sins, where I thought I had done that as well. But I was still holding on, holding it over myself- condemning myself for it even though there is no more condemnation in Christ. I had to let it go. I had to receive His forgiveness before the freedom could come. And when I did, it was like I could see again. The room was so much brighter.

So I changed the name of my blog because it's time for change. And this coming year I'm hoping to post more often. And my intent is to post about the blessings of the Lord as I see them- the things I'm thankful for. Because really there's enough complaining going on in this world and the Bible says to be thankful in all things. So that's my intent. I may even start tomorrow because there have been some cool little things that the Lord has done recently. He's a good God. And worth of our praise. Join me, won't you?